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18 July 2012 @ 07:22 pm
RFH - 2012-07-18  
Opening Song
Zero by The Smashing Pumpkins

The Daily Monitor
In Bill’s quest to keep tabs on KSL’s wonderful news program, he came across a story about Charlie Sheen becoming a judge on American Idol.  Basically, Tim and Amanda, after bringing it up, said that Charlie “needs the paycheck.”  Ummm, he’s a working actor that is starring in a fairly big show and just donated over one million dollars to a political organization.  He doesn’t need a paycheck.  Derp-a-derp.  Also, Bill would like to thank the listeners who sent him the story about the recent creative obituary for Val Patterson and requested that he read it on the show today…because obviously you don’t listen as much as you should (all 4 hours, 5 days a week) since he did it yesterday.  You are the National Threat Level for today.  Hang your head in shame.

Our List of Things That Must Go


  • Bicyclists that don’t obey traffic rules that other motorists have to follow (i.e. pulling up to a red light, looking both ways and then going through it).
  • Comments sections on websites where people literally throw death threats around over silly opinions about movies and other forms of entertainment.  Relax, people!
  • Whoever took the doorstopper out of the studio.  Bring it back!!

  • when people don’t turn their phones all the way off but just set it to vibrate.  It’s just as annoying as the actual ringtone.
  • Kathy Lee and Hoda Kotb must go.
  • The phone survey voice.  That little “sing-songy” voice that goes up and down, up and down…blech.  Just call and talk like a normal person.
  • The phrases “how many times do I have to tell you?!” “don’t make me come in there!” “I’ll give you what for!”  “This is gonna hurt me just as much as it’s gonna hurt you.”  “I beat him like a drum.”

  • Receipts that don’t have the tip calculation on the bottom.  It’s so handy!
  • When eating out as a group and splitting the check, just split it evenly.  Don’t nickel-and-dime people trying to figure out exactly who ate what and in what portions.
  • People who open their car doors and spit into the street.  And why is it only men? Women don’t collect gobs of goo in their mouths and have to spit it into traffic!

Boner Candidates

Brought to you in part by more food and stuff

#1 – It’s Just a Movie and It’s Just One Person’s Opinion (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2175176/Website-Rotten-Tomatoes-suspends-comments-Dark-Knight-death-threats-bad-reviewers.html)

The Winner is #2 – She Ain’t Sick Enough (http://gawker.com/5926781/dad-prevents-make+a+wish-foundation-from-sending-cancer+stricken-daughter-to-disney-world-because-shes-not-sick-enough)

#3 – I’m Here to Help You With Your Craigslist Request (http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/world/54505721-68/rape-police-woman-craigslist.html.csp)

There was a survey conducted by an LDS sociologist that polled people on their feelings about blacks and Mormons.  There’s a surprising amount of distrust of both parties (where does that leave Mia Love?!).  It’s interesting to Bill because he’s around both demographics and has general trust for each of them, mostly because he “knows where they’re coming from.”  Gina loves having Mormon neighbors.  They don’t have loud parties and they bring you treats.  Bill wonders though if they have a lot of Mormons in the Harvard/Yale neighborhood because it’s so secular.  Should be filled with Atheists and professors.  A lot of wine drinking and stuff like that.  None of that box wine though.  Bill doesn’t discriminate though because he had a very tasty box wine on his river trip.  It was “drinkable.”  Kerry would like to have “drinkable box wine” defined since the majority of them are disgusting.  Just don’t look for the ones with animals on the package…you can’t trust them.  

Unforgettable Quote #1:  65 lb beaver?!  That’s a BIG BEAVER! – Gina Barberi

Bottom Line Bill
If Bill switched radio programs, his new radio name would be “Filthy Lucre” because he only cares about money, money, money.  Also, he would like to know what makes Gina “lady-like” and whether or not she considers herself such a woman.  She admits that she isn’t as much of a lady as she could be.  Kerry wants to know how many skirts/dresses she owns to which she replied 1 skirt.  Bill doesn’t mind if a woman occasionally hocks a loogie…but only sometimes.  Gina’s ideal of a woman that acts like a lady is as following: she dresses, speaks and is once, twice, three times a lady.  Sue, Kerry’s wife, dresses like a lady but doesn’t talk like one.  Bill’s not sure that he would care for someone who acts like what Gina describes, especially (as Kerry points out) if she tries to act like one.  She feels kinda bad that she’s not as lady-like as she should be but she’s not really willing to do anything about it.  Plus, the change would have to be gradual because if she transformed overnight it would look forced and not work.  It’s easier for a guy to act like a gentleman.  Just put on a suit and nobody really questions you.  Kerry suggests that once a week Gina should wear that skirt to work.  Baby steps.  Maybe she could get a personal shopper, someone who would understand what Gina would wear.  As a bonus, Joe would like it which should motivate her to change since, according to Bill, she does everything else that he wants her to do.

Gina’s Sign Off: That’s a big beaver!