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11 July 2012 @ 07:46 pm
RFH - 2012-07-11  
Opening Song
311 – Homebrew

Bill Hates Radio (not really though)
Bill’s not only going to ruin the show today but he’s also going to KUER to fill in for Doug Fabrizio on Radio West.  Gina wonders where he might be and Kerry speculates that he’s at home, playing Lego Batman 2.  Bill was up late preparing for the topic (Buddhism) which is a topic that he wasn’t all that interested in.  He gets stressed when he has to fill in for Doug which puts pressure on him to perform which in turn makes him cranky on the show.  Bill also wanted to complain about some promotional fliers that were posted around the studio that talk about the ideal listener.  The people on the flier were missing their legs.  Either it’s out of sheer laziness or because the person couldn’t fit them in, it looks ridiculous.  Just sayin’.

Your List of Things That Must Go
  • Eric: the words “The Great Seal of the State of Utah” must go.  Bill begs to differ.  We make honey and stuff; Beto’s breakfast burritos; Walmart not having a dress code.  Someone’s always wearing their pajamas; Old, stuffy, conservative coworkers.  Oh, and get your hearing checked; Companies blocking news stories about E3.
  • Brett: The fact that Kim Kardashian isn’t labeled as a “plus sized” model; Crossover advertising; Hiding weight by wearing tighter clothes.  The muffin top looks the way it does because the container can’t hold the batter.
  • Mitch (Fat Brad Pitt): people who put their naked pregnant belly on Facebook.  Would you like it if I started putting my fat belly pics up, too?  People who complain about how “people just don’t get me.”  You complain about being single or how you hate your job but you’re not DOING anything to change it; People who use coupons at Walmart but don’t use the coupon line; People who tell you how to raise your kids; Kristen Stewart, who looks like a squirrel
  • Laura: x96 promos that refer to the DJs as misfits and idiots; People who tell you that you look tired or sick when you just don’t put on mascara.
  • Emily: Costco must go for letting birds nest in the ceiling.  Aren’t there pallet jacks for that?
  • Seth:  Coworkers who talk about work related stuff in the breakroom; Enormous strollers in crowded places; Bill going on vacation.  Even though he grinds our gears, we miss him when he’s gone; Interns who edit the podcasts and cut off parts of important stories.  What about bunny chlamydia?!
  • Heather: people who don’t pull their growling, teeth baring dogs off her sweet lab; People who talk to her when she’s clearly listening to something on the radio; People who don’t clean up after their dogs; Women who wear big gerber daisies, bigger than their heads.
  • Cindy: people who say “all of the sudden,” “nucular,” and who call her Sydney instead of Cindy; Her right wing crazy dad; Her coworker who asks her “are ya hangin’ in there?”  They’ve never even had a conversation.

Gina and Skipping Out On Meetings
Every Tuesday, the show has to participate in meetings where they get told where (or where not) they will be for remotes and also told that they’re going to hell in a handbasket.  Gina, who knows about the weekly meetings, set an appointment to have her eyebrows done (truthfully, it was to get them Redone as the person who did them originally screwed them up) during the 11:00 hour.  However, that’s not the reason that she gave when exiting.  She said that it was for a cross promotional tv event with Daddy Tom and Chris Vanocur which was slightly disingenuous.  Bill and Kerry point out that it’s on channel 4, bright and early on a Sunday morning.  Why the hell would she need to get her eyebrows done?!  Nobody’s going to notice!  Gina says that she’ll be in HD and it’s a necessary thing.  Mostly, Kerry wanted Gina there because he doesn’t like being the only a-hole.  He even threatened to quit in the middle of the meeting, something that was beautiful to behold.  Too bad she missed it.

Boner Candidates
Brought to you in part by some wraps
#1: Thumbs Up! (http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news%2Fbizarre&id=8727027)
#2: The Death of Hope (http://fox13now.com/2012/07/02/chihuahua-recovering-from-being-burned-in-a-campsite-fire-pit/)
The winner is #3:  Polygamist Kitty in a Concrete Pipe (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/cat-buried-alive-concrete-a-grim-warning-man-clashed-polygamist-fundamentalist-church-jesus-christ-day-saints-warning-extreme-graphic-video-article-1.1111391)  

Sumner the Accordion Playing Entrepreneur
Sumner has a lemonade stand in Tanner Park that the show is sponsoring on Monday and Tuesday from noon – 5:00 pm.  He gets to create a commercial with Richie (full blown radio support!) that will promote the stand.  He’s done lemonade stands in the past but hasn’t made much money.  He’s saving up for a new pair of headphones.  He also plays accordion because of a jazz band he saw once and it inspired him.  He’s been taking lessons, which has proven difficult since there aren’t many teachers here locally.  He played Injun Song for the studio which Kerry recorded for later use in things like the Boner of the Day.  Good luck, Sumner!

Unforgettable Quote #1: Bill Allred’s like pizza for your soul…pussy! – Richie T. Steadman

Interviewing Jay Leno
Nobody wants to interview Jay Leno.  They want Richie to do it but he’s not willing to put himself out there just to have Kerry, Bill and Gina mock him for it.  Bill doesn’t want to hear Jay’s story about how he got into cars…again.  Kerry saw him about 20 years ago when he toured and thought he was very funny.  Bill loved him when he was on Dave Letterman’s show as a regular guest.  However, he’s gotten vanilla over the years and pretty lame.  Kerry says he can interview him but he doesn’t know anything about cars.  Again, all signs point to Richie to be able to handle it.  Bill thinks that he should just grab a KSL interview and recut it to sound like Kerry is the interviewer.  Gina’s just too busy to make time for Jay.  If the interview was going to happen between 10:00 and 10:15, she would be all over it.  Gina thinks that Kerry should just ask the exact same questions that Doug Wright asked him already to see if he notices.

Gina’s Sign Off:  We will NOT have cake for everybody!