Opening Song
"Because I'm Awesome" - The Dollyrots
A Message from Com
Crom laughs at your silly pseudo war. Crom will watch when you arm the players with swords.
The Many Roles of Joe Jones
Gina's good looking husband, Joe, kindly asked his wife if she would mind watching the kids whilst he went up to watch the run-run tackle ball game at a bar in Ogden. Gina, knowing that she watches her children so infrequently, granted her good looking husband his request. As such, Gina left Joe at home in the morning so she could go out and do some Xmas shopping. When she returned, Joe was ready to go. He was wearing his red sweatshirt and had his liquor flask all loaded up. Before he left, however, he informed Gina that he had put together a dinner for her and left it in the fridge. All she had to do was heat it up. At that moment Gina realized that Joe was both the husband and the wife in their relationship; he was going to watch the game with the boys AND managed to prepare dinner for his spouse and the children. What doest that make Gina? The nanny.
What had Joe prepared for dinner? Left over ham with red potatoes. Gina likes the potatoes because you smash them, drizzle them with olive oil and salt, then fry them in the oven - just like French Fries. She did not, however, partake of any of the ham. Gina doesn't do left-overs. She doesn't trust them. It was good once, how could it possibly be good again?
Nobody's Perfect
This Thanksgiving Day, Richie accompanied the not-girlfriend to her family home in Lawrence, UT, directly west of The Middle of Nowhere. After a traditional meal, Richie fell asleep on the couch for a pre-pie nap. He was waked when the not-girlfriend introduced him to a good friend who had stopped by. Richie was groggy, but managed to make an acceptable impression. When the not-girlfriend was talking on the phone later, apparently she was told that Richie was "not bad" and that "nobody's perfect."
Boners
1. "The Kids are Safe": Two stories. First, on Thanksgiving Day, a young couple was arrested in a motel after they left their two children, 7-months, and Twenty-months, to sleep in a mini-van whilst they cavorted in the motel. The mini-van wasn't even just located in the motel parking lot, but left at a nearby fast-food restaurant. Second, Michale Monahan of Massachusetts was charged with reckless endangerment when he locked his two children in the truck of his sports car so that he could do some shopping. Mr. Monahan allegedly told officials that the kids enjoyed playing in the trunk.
2. "You've Got Beautiful Teeth": A Berkley woman traveling on a bus became disturbed when a man locked his gaze on her and told her how much he admired her teeth and how much he would like to have them. The nervous woman exited the bus at the next opportunity, but apparently was followed. The man apparently hit the woman, then knocked out her teeth and made off with them.
3. "Dancing is Forbidden": Hamas has begun cracking down on women engaging in activities they feel are un-Islamic. They have banned women from riding behind a man on a scooter, and banned girls from performing a traditional folk-dance at the opening of a Palestinian museum. Another woman was harassed by constables as she swam wearing pants and a blouse instead of the more traditional robes.
The neglectful parents are Boners of the Day.
Cheated Desserts
If all went according to plan, Gina, Joe, and the children were to spend Thanksgiving with The Sainted Mary Claire at the Motorhome Roundup in Zion's National Park. Unfortunately, Jonesie's appendectomy threw off the plan and Joe was forced to make an emergency Thanksgiving meal. He went out and got himself a last minute ham. What kind of ham? It was from The Whole Foods, so it was probably some kind of organic ham that was hugged to death. He also whipped up some stuffing, which perplexed Festus as a ham has nothing to stuff. Gina doesn't care for stuffing anyway - she doesn't trust it. She even has studies that prove that eating stuffing is dangerous. She has studies! The meal turned out really good, except for dessert. Gina should never have left it to Joe to provide the dessert. He brought home a pumpkin pie, a pecan pie, and a carrot cake. Gina won't eat a pumpkin pie, and the pecan pie looks edible from on top, but she doesn't know what that jelly like stuff is and she doesn't trust it. Instead, Gina had to raid her chocolate stash for any semblance of dessert.
Kerry's Status
Kerry was on the show today.
Episode #5307
Days until contract expiration: 122
Edition 1075 of Atropos' blog.
Day 62 in which Bill loves Mrs. Bill even more than he did the day before.
...and...
Only 345 shopping days left until Gina's Birthday!
"Because I'm Awesome" - The Dollyrots
A Message from Com
Crom laughs at your silly pseudo war. Crom will watch when you arm the players with swords.
The Many Roles of Joe Jones
Gina's good looking husband, Joe, kindly asked his wife if she would mind watching the kids whilst he went up to watch the run-run tackle ball game at a bar in Ogden. Gina, knowing that she watches her children so infrequently, granted her good looking husband his request. As such, Gina left Joe at home in the morning so she could go out and do some Xmas shopping. When she returned, Joe was ready to go. He was wearing his red sweatshirt and had his liquor flask all loaded up. Before he left, however, he informed Gina that he had put together a dinner for her and left it in the fridge. All she had to do was heat it up. At that moment Gina realized that Joe was both the husband and the wife in their relationship; he was going to watch the game with the boys AND managed to prepare dinner for his spouse and the children. What doest that make Gina? The nanny.
What had Joe prepared for dinner? Left over ham with red potatoes. Gina likes the potatoes because you smash them, drizzle them with olive oil and salt, then fry them in the oven - just like French Fries. She did not, however, partake of any of the ham. Gina doesn't do left-overs. She doesn't trust them. It was good once, how could it possibly be good again?
Nobody's Perfect
This Thanksgiving Day, Richie accompanied the not-girlfriend to her family home in Lawrence, UT, directly west of The Middle of Nowhere. After a traditional meal, Richie fell asleep on the couch for a pre-pie nap. He was waked when the not-girlfriend introduced him to a good friend who had stopped by. Richie was groggy, but managed to make an acceptable impression. When the not-girlfriend was talking on the phone later, apparently she was told that Richie was "not bad" and that "nobody's perfect."
Boners
1. "The Kids are Safe": Two stories. First, on Thanksgiving Day, a young couple was arrested in a motel after they left their two children, 7-months, and Twenty-months, to sleep in a mini-van whilst they cavorted in the motel. The mini-van wasn't even just located in the motel parking lot, but left at a nearby fast-food restaurant. Second, Michale Monahan of Massachusetts was charged with reckless endangerment when he locked his two children in the truck of his sports car so that he could do some shopping. Mr. Monahan allegedly told officials that the kids enjoyed playing in the trunk.
2. "You've Got Beautiful Teeth": A Berkley woman traveling on a bus became disturbed when a man locked his gaze on her and told her how much he admired her teeth and how much he would like to have them. The nervous woman exited the bus at the next opportunity, but apparently was followed. The man apparently hit the woman, then knocked out her teeth and made off with them.
3. "Dancing is Forbidden": Hamas has begun cracking down on women engaging in activities they feel are un-Islamic. They have banned women from riding behind a man on a scooter, and banned girls from performing a traditional folk-dance at the opening of a Palestinian museum. Another woman was harassed by constables as she swam wearing pants and a blouse instead of the more traditional robes.
The neglectful parents are Boners of the Day.
Cheated Desserts
If all went according to plan, Gina, Joe, and the children were to spend Thanksgiving with The Sainted Mary Claire at the Motorhome Roundup in Zion's National Park. Unfortunately, Jonesie's appendectomy threw off the plan and Joe was forced to make an emergency Thanksgiving meal. He went out and got himself a last minute ham. What kind of ham? It was from The Whole Foods, so it was probably some kind of organic ham that was hugged to death. He also whipped up some stuffing, which perplexed Festus as a ham has nothing to stuff. Gina doesn't care for stuffing anyway - she doesn't trust it. She even has studies that prove that eating stuffing is dangerous. She has studies! The meal turned out really good, except for dessert. Gina should never have left it to Joe to provide the dessert. He brought home a pumpkin pie, a pecan pie, and a carrot cake. Gina won't eat a pumpkin pie, and the pecan pie looks edible from on top, but she doesn't know what that jelly like stuff is and she doesn't trust it. Instead, Gina had to raid her chocolate stash for any semblance of dessert.
Kerry's Status
Kerry was on the show today.
Episode #5307
Days until contract expiration: 122
Edition 1075 of Atropos' blog.
Day 62 in which Bill loves Mrs. Bill even more than he did the day before.
...and...
Only 345 shopping days left until Gina's Birthday!
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