Episode #5195
Days until contract expiration: 293
Birth of a Geek
Gina was glad that Leonard Nimoy was picked to cameo in the new Star Trek and not William Shatner. Nimoy is old, and has dentures, but he still looks like a smarty-pants Vulcan. Shatner is bloated and old and pink and doesn't look anything like the former womanizing Captain Kirk. Kerry has seen the new Star Trek four times, but that really isn't a lot. When Star Wars came to the theater in Payson, he paid his dollar every night for the four weeks the movie ran. He had been reading about Star Wars in his Starlog Magazine before it came out, but wasn't really that excited about it; he was a Star Trek fan. But when his brother and his future wife came home from the movie and announced, "You've got to see this movie!" it was the beginning of the end. They went to the movie and Kerry saw that gian Star Destroyer pass over him and exclaimed to himself, "This is what it is! This is what it's supposed to be! It's not guys in rubber costumes! It can be good!!"
Boners
1. "Don't Mess With the Union. They'll Eat You Up": After being accused of killing a drug dealer, dismembering the body, and cooking the remains, a toll road employee in Boston was suspended without leave pending the outcome of the case. The Teamsters Union to which the accused belongs is claiming that the suspension is unjust.
2. "That Dog's a Killer": A Virginia police officer claimed that he only had seconds to react when a dog charged him in an aggressive manner. Danville Officer Murrill McLean drew his weapon and shot the 11-year-old miniature dachshund, killing the canine ironically named "Killer." A miniature dachshund is typically less than 14" tall and weigh less than 11 lbs. Police officials are standing behind the officer's decision to use deadly force.
3. "What Would You Do If You Spilled Beer All Over Your Pants": An intoxicated woman driving home at 8:30am, talking on her cellular phone, with her wet pants hanging outside of her pickup track, surprisingly crashed her vehicle into a ditch. She was taken to a hospital for minor injuries and later arrested for DUI.
The pantless drunk-driving woman is Boner of the Day.
The Painful Circle
Don't get married right off your mission. Use a condom, unless it's pre-marital sex. Pre-marital sex leads to divorce. Make your husband take your son out to the woodshed whilst you put glass shards in the hallway to prevent him from getting to his girlfriend who sleeps on the couch. You'll be successfully life-coached within 10 years.
Boner of the Week
Dave "The Flower Guy" Matson chose the text messaging burglars of Thursday as Boners of the Week.
Gina's Sign-off
"Grease is the word."
Days until contract expiration: 293
Birth of a Geek
Gina was glad that Leonard Nimoy was picked to cameo in the new Star Trek and not William Shatner. Nimoy is old, and has dentures, but he still looks like a smarty-pants Vulcan. Shatner is bloated and old and pink and doesn't look anything like the former womanizing Captain Kirk. Kerry has seen the new Star Trek four times, but that really isn't a lot. When Star Wars came to the theater in Payson, he paid his dollar every night for the four weeks the movie ran. He had been reading about Star Wars in his Starlog Magazine before it came out, but wasn't really that excited about it; he was a Star Trek fan. But when his brother and his future wife came home from the movie and announced, "You've got to see this movie!" it was the beginning of the end. They went to the movie and Kerry saw that gian Star Destroyer pass over him and exclaimed to himself, "This is what it is! This is what it's supposed to be! It's not guys in rubber costumes! It can be good!!"
Boners
1. "Don't Mess With the Union. They'll Eat You Up": After being accused of killing a drug dealer, dismembering the body, and cooking the remains, a toll road employee in Boston was suspended without leave pending the outcome of the case. The Teamsters Union to which the accused belongs is claiming that the suspension is unjust.
2. "That Dog's a Killer": A Virginia police officer claimed that he only had seconds to react when a dog charged him in an aggressive manner. Danville Officer Murrill McLean drew his weapon and shot the 11-year-old miniature dachshund, killing the canine ironically named "Killer." A miniature dachshund is typically less than 14" tall and weigh less than 11 lbs. Police officials are standing behind the officer's decision to use deadly force.
3. "What Would You Do If You Spilled Beer All Over Your Pants": An intoxicated woman driving home at 8:30am, talking on her cellular phone, with her wet pants hanging outside of her pickup track, surprisingly crashed her vehicle into a ditch. She was taken to a hospital for minor injuries and later arrested for DUI.
The pantless drunk-driving woman is Boner of the Day.
The Painful Circle
Don't get married right off your mission. Use a condom, unless it's pre-marital sex. Pre-marital sex leads to divorce. Make your husband take your son out to the woodshed whilst you put glass shards in the hallway to prevent him from getting to his girlfriend who sleeps on the couch. You'll be successfully life-coached within 10 years.
Boner of the Week
Dave "The Flower Guy" Matson chose the text messaging burglars of Thursday as Boners of the Week.
Gina's Sign-off
"Grease is the word."
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