Episode #4981

In The Know
Bill was the subject of an invasion of privacy this morning.  Two men with video cameras showed up at Bill's house.  Gina was confused; why would two men with video cameras be at Bill's house?  Gina might be better informed if she were to stay at the officer for more than 30 seconds after her sign-off.  The cameras were part of Radio From Hell's 5000th show celebration.  They'll be following Bill and Kerry around for a morning to see how they prepare for the show.  They told the men not to bother with Gina.  Gina wouldn't allow it.  She's a stick in the mud, and her house is much, much to tiny.

Hero of the Day
"L.F. Eason III, director of the state Standards Laboratory in North Carolina, has chosen to retire instead of lowering flags to honor former Sen. Jesse Helms, saying in an e-mail that the late conservative had a "doctrine of negativity, hate and prejudice.""  (Read More)

Boners (brought to you by salmon)
1. "I Hate These Meeses to Pieces!":  A California woman shot herself and another man with a .44 caliber revolver whilst trying to kill a mouse.  The woman pulled the firearm from a holster under her arm, but dropped the weapon which discharged when it hit the floor.  The bullet went through the woman's kneecap, glanced off a set of keys on the man's belt, finally tearing a hole in the man's pants and grazing across his groin.

2. "She Needed a Spanking":  A Florida police officer has been fired after he was accused of stripping, fondling, and finally, spanking a woman at a party.  The victim alleges that the off-duty officer was intoxicated when he propositioned her for oral sex.  When she refused, he stripped of her pants, fondled her, and held her down while he spanked her with his hand, and later a leather belt.


3. "Whacked by a Commode":  After discovering her boyfriend smoking cocaine in their bathroom, a Florida woman beat the man with a toilet seat.

The spanking cop is Boner of the Day.


My Ex-Wife Loves Him
Whilst at the wedding of semi-celebrity Tom Russell, The Sainted Mary Claire met a song-writer.  She wouldn't give Gina the woman's name as she was afraid that she might find this story via Google.  The song-writer had written for a number of famous artists, including one of Mary Claire's favorites, Neil Diamond.  While Neil Diamond was recording one of the woman's songs for a country album in Nashville, they had a day off and she and Mr. Diamond's entourage were all out by the pool.  The woman's daughter wasn't swimming and was still in her regular clothes.  As Mr. Diamond walked by the 15-year-old daughter, he pushed her right into the pool and walked away laughing to himself. 


Heaven Can Wait
When in Denver at the end of next month, Gina will be staying with Joe and Li'l Mohamed at the Westin.  Gina enjoys The Westin because they have the "Heavenly Beds."  What she just discovered, however, is that they also have "Heavenly Cribs!"  Li'l Mohamed will be resting comfortably on 4" of germ-infested comfort!