Episode #5133
Days until contract expiration: 384
Sign-off
Tom Barberi and Rocky Anderson. Someone had posted a comment to a video on Tom's Facebook page. Rocky saw the photo and sent Tom a note commenting that she was "Damned cute." He also wondered if she was a "real" friend or a "Facebook" friend. Bill surmised that the message was intended to be private but was posted so that anyone who was friends with either of them could see it.
Boners (brought to you by chicken fried steak)
1. "Hold the Lettuce Please": A video posted on YouTube showed an employee of a sandwich bar (deli) in the UK shoving lettuce into his nose and mouth before placing it back into the tray.
2. "Don't you know who I am? I'm an important Senator who was Recently Involved in a Sex Scandal and Now I Have to be Somewhere "
or "Yeah, You're The Guy What Likes the Whores": Senator David Vitter (R-LA), the senator who was repeatedly implicated in the D.C. Madam Scandal, and another scandal with a Louisiana prostitute, found himself in a little bit of trouble at the airport. Arriving a mere twenty minutes before his flight, Senator Vitter found that the gate door had already been closed. Not to be deterred, Vitter tried to open the gate door, setting off an alarm. After pulling out the infamous "Don't you know who I am", Mr. Vitter made a rapid retreat when security was called.
3. "I Know What Them Tannin' Women Like": A flasher flashed his flashes at a salon what flashes women with flashes of light. He's been charged with lewdness.
Senator David Vitter is Boner of the Day.
Margaret Ruth
You're not moving. You'll be married within four years. If you're online dating, use a condom. You cheated on your boyfriend, several times, with the same guy. It's gonna take a while to rebuild any trust. Go with him next time he's off to Japan. As you're baby makin' years are leaving, get yourself a farmer to throw his love-spuds up on the BBQ. In Ogden, use a condom whether you're having sex or not.
Bad Timing
Bill was watching a video of KUTV's "Get Gephart" as Gephart tested a product called "Poop Freeze." The product claims to ease the cleaning of dog feces by hardening it first. Bill thought the best part of the video was the commercial after the segment; an RC Willey freezer sale. Gina thinks that just paying the Pooper Scooper man is much easier than any kind of poop freeze. Of course, now Gina's Pooper Scooper man has less to scoop. Sadie has taken to cleaning up after precious. The Dog Whisperer called in to try and teach Gina how to be the Alpha Dog and discipline Sadie Girl. The Dog Shouter, who's shouting sounded oddly familiar, also called in. His show is not nearly as entertaining as The Dog Whisperer. The Dog Shoosher is even less of an audience draw.
Neglected News & Butter
Challenge Butter is made from smooth and creamy stag milk. It features a great deal of protein. Cloris Leachman is melting some Challenge Butter. Ruben Studdard will use it to take a nice butter bath. Hayden Panettieri don't want you touching her Challenge Butter.
Gina's Sign-offs
Days until contract expiration: 384
Sign-off
- I don't need a compass to know which way the wind shines
Tom Barberi and Rocky Anderson. Someone had posted a comment to a video on Tom's Facebook page. Rocky saw the photo and sent Tom a note commenting that she was "Damned cute." He also wondered if she was a "real" friend or a "Facebook" friend. Bill surmised that the message was intended to be private but was posted so that anyone who was friends with either of them could see it.
Boners (brought to you by chicken fried steak)
1. "Hold the Lettuce Please": A video posted on YouTube showed an employee of a sandwich bar (deli) in the UK shoving lettuce into his nose and mouth before placing it back into the tray.
2. "Don't you know who I am? I'm an important Senator who was Recently Involved in a Sex Scandal and Now I Have to be Somewhere "
or "Yeah, You're The Guy What Likes the Whores": Senator David Vitter (R-LA), the senator who was repeatedly implicated in the D.C. Madam Scandal, and another scandal with a Louisiana prostitute, found himself in a little bit of trouble at the airport. Arriving a mere twenty minutes before his flight, Senator Vitter found that the gate door had already been closed. Not to be deterred, Vitter tried to open the gate door, setting off an alarm. After pulling out the infamous "Don't you know who I am", Mr. Vitter made a rapid retreat when security was called.
3. "I Know What Them Tannin' Women Like": A flasher flashed his flashes at a salon what flashes women with flashes of light. He's been charged with lewdness.
Senator David Vitter is Boner of the Day.
Margaret Ruth
You're not moving. You'll be married within four years. If you're online dating, use a condom. You cheated on your boyfriend, several times, with the same guy. It's gonna take a while to rebuild any trust. Go with him next time he's off to Japan. As you're baby makin' years are leaving, get yourself a farmer to throw his love-spuds up on the BBQ. In Ogden, use a condom whether you're having sex or not.
Bad Timing
Bill was watching a video of KUTV's "Get Gephart" as Gephart tested a product called "Poop Freeze." The product claims to ease the cleaning of dog feces by hardening it first. Bill thought the best part of the video was the commercial after the segment; an RC Willey freezer sale. Gina thinks that just paying the Pooper Scooper man is much easier than any kind of poop freeze. Of course, now Gina's Pooper Scooper man has less to scoop. Sadie has taken to cleaning up after precious. The Dog Whisperer called in to try and teach Gina how to be the Alpha Dog and discipline Sadie Girl. The Dog Shouter, who's shouting sounded oddly familiar, also called in. His show is not nearly as entertaining as The Dog Whisperer. The Dog Shoosher is even less of an audience draw.
Neglected News & Butter
Challenge Butter is made from smooth and creamy stag milk. It features a great deal of protein. Cloris Leachman is melting some Challenge Butter. Ruben Studdard will use it to take a nice butter bath. Hayden Panettieri don't want you touching her Challenge Butter.
Gina's Sign-offs
- "I was terrified to even hold it."
- "Put down the chicken leg."
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