Episode #5174
Days until contract expiration: 325
Opening Song
"Robots" - Flight of the Conchords
Sign-offs
On Friday, Radio From Hell interviewed stand-up comedian Jamie Kennedy and his girlfriend, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Mr. Kennedy was performing four shows in Salt Lake City. Richie was supposed to take them on a tour of Salt Lake city on Saturday afternoon, but they never called him back. This morning, Gina ran into the owner of the comedy club and asked how the shows went. Um.... eeehhh.. Mr. Kennedy and Ms. Hewitt were fine, but Ms. Hewitt's mother was high maintenance . She's the kind of woman who travels everywhere with her daughter and always takes her little dog along with her. Also, she needs copious amounts of vodka or, failing that, Bud Light.
Boners (brought to you by Unka Todd's carnitas)
1. "I Don't Like Broccoli" A TGI Friday's restaurant in New York has opened an investigation into an incident in which a severed snake head was found in a side of broccoli by a restaurant patron. Scientists analyzed the head and found that it hadn't been cooked, so authorities are focusing on the kitchen staff.
2. "Terrorism. What Would You Do?": A Colorado school has come under fire after a history teacher assigned students to spend two minutes to come up with a plot for an act of terrorism. In response to the criticism, the school collected the assignments and destroyed them.
3. "I Hope I Win the Raffle ": The shoplifter of a Liquor Store in Connecticut was caught after filling out a ticket for a raffle. The thief had one bottle already in his pocket when he stopped by the counter to fill out a raffle ticket. He then snatched two other bottles and made for the exit. The clerk let him go and simply removed the only ticket from the entry box. Police found the thief at the address indicated on the ticket.
The school of terrorism is Boner of the Day.
A Shared Experience
In reference to Boner Candidate #1, Gina related a story from her waitress days at The J.B.'s. She once had a customer claim that she put a grasshopper in a glass of iced tea. Bill once found a piece of string in a chili burger he ordered. He wasn't too horrified by the first little piece, but then there was another longer piece of string. He pointed it out to the manager and was promptly kicked out of the restaurant. If Bill had been the man he is today instead of a high school student, things would have gone much differently. Kerry once found a cigarette butt in his mooshu . He pointed it out, but the waiter wasn't bothered by it. Finally he offered Kerry 1/2 price off his own meal. Kerry informed the waiter that he would not be paying for anything.
Unforgettable Quote
"Isn't that something? Well, I'll be darned." - Bill Allred
Changes
Bill is no longer drinking in public. He doesn't like people to see him crying. He even waits until the children are in bed before he takes one look at the bottle of gin and descends into tearful wailing.
Bill Frost
The season finale of Big Bang Theory. House is done for the season. He'll be sure to nearly kill his patient before curing his oldism. Castle is probably gone for good. Riki Lake does some skank wranglin' on the new season of Charm school. Fringe is like the X-Files with prettier people. Lie to Me is not the mentalist. Ben will have his face beat in on the two hour finale of Lost. Grey's Anatomy also should be beaten in the face. My Name is Earl is still on. Numb3rs takes on some math terrorists. MadTV is over forever. New Squidbillies on Sunday.
Artie's Friend
Kerry and Sue are shopping for a new friend for Artie. Citing their requirements of a low-maintenance dog for the elderly, they believe they've settled either on a Pug or a French Bulldog. Bill disagreed with Kerry's choice on the pug. Bill's daughter purchased a pug and that dog is not low-maintenance. Kerry countered with the claim that the dog is adaptable to the environment it was in. Gina disagreed with the choice of a French Bulldog. It's unnatural for a pet to be so over-bred and engineered that they can't have sex and can't give birth naturally. It's a good thing that Kerry brought his dog issues to the show for a floor vote.
Gina's Sign-off
"Boobs for decency."
Days until contract expiration: 325
Opening Song
"Robots" - Flight of the Conchords
Sign-offs
- "Excuse me... I just wanted to ask a question. What does God need with a starship?"
- "Please, sir, not in front of the Klingons."
On Friday, Radio From Hell interviewed stand-up comedian Jamie Kennedy and his girlfriend, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Mr. Kennedy was performing four shows in Salt Lake City. Richie was supposed to take them on a tour of Salt Lake city on Saturday afternoon, but they never called him back. This morning, Gina ran into the owner of the comedy club and asked how the shows went. Um.... eeehhh.. Mr. Kennedy and Ms. Hewitt were fine, but Ms. Hewitt's mother was high maintenance . She's the kind of woman who travels everywhere with her daughter and always takes her little dog along with her. Also, she needs copious amounts of vodka or, failing that, Bud Light.
Boners (brought to you by Unka Todd's carnitas)
1. "I Don't Like Broccoli" A TGI Friday's restaurant in New York has opened an investigation into an incident in which a severed snake head was found in a side of broccoli by a restaurant patron. Scientists analyzed the head and found that it hadn't been cooked, so authorities are focusing on the kitchen staff.
2. "Terrorism. What Would You Do?": A Colorado school has come under fire after a history teacher assigned students to spend two minutes to come up with a plot for an act of terrorism. In response to the criticism, the school collected the assignments and destroyed them.
3. "I Hope I Win the Raffle ": The shoplifter of a Liquor Store in Connecticut was caught after filling out a ticket for a raffle. The thief had one bottle already in his pocket when he stopped by the counter to fill out a raffle ticket. He then snatched two other bottles and made for the exit. The clerk let him go and simply removed the only ticket from the entry box. Police found the thief at the address indicated on the ticket.
The school of terrorism is Boner of the Day.
A Shared Experience
In reference to Boner Candidate #1, Gina related a story from her waitress days at The J.B.'s. She once had a customer claim that she put a grasshopper in a glass of iced tea. Bill once found a piece of string in a chili burger he ordered. He wasn't too horrified by the first little piece, but then there was another longer piece of string. He pointed it out to the manager and was promptly kicked out of the restaurant. If Bill had been the man he is today instead of a high school student, things would have gone much differently. Kerry once found a cigarette butt in his mooshu . He pointed it out, but the waiter wasn't bothered by it. Finally he offered Kerry 1/2 price off his own meal. Kerry informed the waiter that he would not be paying for anything.
Unforgettable Quote
"Isn't that something? Well, I'll be darned." - Bill Allred
Changes
Bill is no longer drinking in public. He doesn't like people to see him crying. He even waits until the children are in bed before he takes one look at the bottle of gin and descends into tearful wailing.
Bill Frost
The season finale of Big Bang Theory. House is done for the season. He'll be sure to nearly kill his patient before curing his oldism. Castle is probably gone for good. Riki Lake does some skank wranglin' on the new season of Charm school. Fringe is like the X-Files with prettier people. Lie to Me is not the mentalist. Ben will have his face beat in on the two hour finale of Lost. Grey's Anatomy also should be beaten in the face. My Name is Earl is still on. Numb3rs takes on some math terrorists. MadTV is over forever. New Squidbillies on Sunday.
Artie's Friend
Kerry and Sue are shopping for a new friend for Artie. Citing their requirements of a low-maintenance dog for the elderly, they believe they've settled either on a Pug or a French Bulldog. Bill disagreed with Kerry's choice on the pug. Bill's daughter purchased a pug and that dog is not low-maintenance. Kerry countered with the claim that the dog is adaptable to the environment it was in. Gina disagreed with the choice of a French Bulldog. It's unnatural for a pet to be so over-bred and engineered that they can't have sex and can't give birth naturally. It's a good thing that Kerry brought his dog issues to the show for a floor vote.
Gina's Sign-off
"Boobs for decency."
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