Episode #5057
Days until contract expiration: 512

Sign-offs

• A man doesn't automatically get respect he has to ge down in the dirt and beg for it.
• I've been through alcohol, marriage and [radio]. If you're gonna kill me, you're gonna need Kryptonite.

It's a Mystery
Bill came in all fired up to tell a story, but there was a word in the story that he was concerned about using on the radio.  As he told the story to Kerry and Gina off the air, Gina made "a face" and uttered her usual censoring noise, "Eeehhhhh ahhhhh Ok....Ok....Ok.....eeeea Uuhhhhhhh," apparently indicating that she felt uncomfortable with the use of the word on the radio.  Kerry devised a way to work around the offending word, but then Bill got cold feet.  Apparently the person involved with the story might be embarassed, even if he/she did not hear it on the radio.  After all that, no story and no hints.  Aauuup...  Aauuup...  Bill's not getting into it.

It's a Mystery II
Someone keeps writing something about "Chocolate" or "Mocha" personal Jesus's on the board in the studio.  Apparently it's some reference to President-elect Obama.  Radio From Hell knows who did it, but, Aaauup....  Aaauup...  They can't get into that on the radio.

It's a Mystery III
Someone wrote up an extremely poor promo that seemed to indicate that the tickets they were giving away were.... Uuhhhh... Aaauuup.  Aaauuup....  They can't get into that on the radio.

Boners
1. "I Gave the Little Baby Some Insurance":  Two children were left alone by their father with a hunting knife, ax, and baseball bat for "protection."  The children, seven and six-years-old, were left alone for more than 90 minutes, after which the children went to a neighbor's house and the neighbor alerted police.  The father was arrested and charged with child neglect.

2. "What?  No Fried Chicken Reference?":  On his radio show the day after the election, convicted felon G. Gordon Liddy broadcast the following exchange:

CALLER: How's the cooking going to be? What will -- what will they serve, at the
camp? I'm ready to go. Then they'll alleviate my debt that I have. They'll -- they'll put
me in a concentration camp.

LIDDY: Well, I think, probably, there'll be ham hocks and turnip greens.

3. "You.  You Guys."  On Tuesday, Radio From Hell  nominated as a Boner the anti-proposition 8 advertisement featuring two "missionaries" invading the home of two married Lesbians, stealing their wedding rings, and destroying their marriage license.  F.O.P Boyd disagreed with Radio From Hell's description of the advertisement and nominated Radio From Hell as a Boner for their efforts.


Radio From Hell is Boner of the Day.


Ask a Mailman
Mailman Monty has a busy, busy job.  There's really no down-time.  Either he's on a route or sorting for his route.  No, Netflix doesn't bother Monty.  They pay the Postal Service, and the Postal Service pays Monty.  If you want to stop your junk mail, call 1-800-ASK-USPS.  They'll have a way to at least slow the flood.  It's never a good idea to sneak up on a postal carrier unless you're bringing him a $20 tip.  As for the weird, Monty once found a tracking ankle bracelet in one of the big collection boxes, and has to deliever The New Era and a pornographic magazine to two different residents of the same address.


Jeff Vice
Soul Men was not screened. 

Madagascar 2 has the exact same jokes as the first, and the penguins are still the only worthwhile moment.  2 stars.

Happy Go Lucky is a chirpy, chirpy, "life can't get her down" type of movie.  It's like watching Richie.  2.5 stars.

Girl Cut in Two is about a love triangle between a weather0-girl, an older author, and a spoiled rich heir.  Contrary to predictions, no wackiness ensued.  2.5 stars.

Sundance Short Collection.  Exactly as it sounds.  Jeff thoroughly enjoyed much of it.  There's a great zombie love story, an Eskimo thriller, and some interesting documentaries.  3 stars.

Role Models is tasteless, irresponsible, foul, and damned funny.  The little kid in the movie, Bobby Jay Thompson is a little thug who likes boobies and swearin'.  A very entertaining comedy.  3 stars.

Gina's Sign-off
"My kids weren't born in the water and they turned out just fine."