Episode #4957
All About Gina
There was a tripod in the studio today. Gina didn't know how she felt about that. Gina once dated a tripod for about a year. Put a coat on it, brought it along and introduced the tripod as , "my boyfriend." Finally The Sainted Mary Claire complained about the tripod's complexion.
Gina went to take a shower. She went all the way to her bathroom before she realized that there were no clean towels in the bathroom. The linen closet is in Jonesie's room, and if Gina was to go on in there, she'd wake up the po' chil'. Bill and Kerry wondered why she didn't put a clean towel in the bathroom as she was putting away the laundry. Well, you see, the problem is that Gina doesn't put away the laundry. Joe doesn't either. Nor the nanny. It's the help; a woman named "Dorita." She's a small woman who rides the bus and smells of tuna. Dorita is married to Dorito. After another good beating with the umbrella, hopefully Dorita will remember to lay out Madam's towel.
After the shower fiasco, Gina dragged her still dirty ass into her Acura and drove to the studio. For breakfast, Gina had a Red Bull and a bowl of gruel. Kerry wishes that he could live Gina Barberi's, "Red Bull wishes and instant oatmeal dreams. "
Boners (brought to you by roast chicken)
1. "Incest is Funny": During a speech, Still-Vice President, Richard "Dick" Cheney, joked that he had "Cheney's on both sides of the family — and we don’t even live in West Virginia." Mr. Cheney also commented on the fact that he could make such a remark as he was not running for re-election. Cheney later apologized.
2. "911? I Am So Dumb": An Orem woman called police when she realized that she was trapped in her car. The car battery had died and the woman was unaware of the manual door locks that can be operated from the inside of the vehicle regardless of battery power. Police arrived on the scene, but were unable to communicate the operation through the glass window. Finally they called the woman's cell phone and were able to talk her out of the situation.
3. "You Are Such A Good Kisser": A 17-year-old female was pulled over after police noticed her swerving erratically. When officers asked if she had been drinking, the driver indicated that she can been making out with a drunk boy, but that she hadn't been drinking. Police discovered several empty beer bottles in the car and and empty beer can int he driver's purse.
The woman who locked herself in her own car is Boner of the Day.
All About Gina Pt. 2
Gina teased herself with an apple. She's been so good lately. She'd drinking water, only allowing herself one latte per week, eating lean cuisine for lunch, and standing throughout the show. She even provided herself with a healthy snack; an apple. Just as she was about to bite into the crisp, refreshing flesh - she realized she still had her fake tooth in the front and it would likely be ripped out by a fruit as tough as an apple. Bill wondered if Gina had ever heard of a knife.
Jonesie and Joe were outside engaged in a riotous game of Habib Says (the Egyptian version of Simon Says). Suddenly, the incontinent chihuahua came outside to join them. Jonesie turned to Precious and commanded, "Simon says, 'Stop!'" Precious stopped. Jonesie then commanded, "Simon says, 'Pee!'" Precious produced urine. Jonesie was so pleased, "It works!"
Joe brought home a whole case of dog food for Precious. He's optimistic.
Jonesie informed Gina that she had named her belly button. When questioned as to the name she had bestowed, Jonesie pronounced, "Barbie Magic Princess!" She then walked around the house, exposing her navel and announcing, "Barbie Magic Princess!" Bill encouraged Gina to remember this moment when there is a line of boys outside of the house waiting for Jonesie.
Gina is dirty and itchy.
Gina's Sign-off
"Dirt Don't Hurt."
All About Gina
There was a tripod in the studio today. Gina didn't know how she felt about that. Gina once dated a tripod for about a year. Put a coat on it, brought it along and introduced the tripod as , "my boyfriend." Finally The Sainted Mary Claire complained about the tripod's complexion.
Gina went to take a shower. She went all the way to her bathroom before she realized that there were no clean towels in the bathroom. The linen closet is in Jonesie's room, and if Gina was to go on in there, she'd wake up the po' chil'. Bill and Kerry wondered why she didn't put a clean towel in the bathroom as she was putting away the laundry. Well, you see, the problem is that Gina doesn't put away the laundry. Joe doesn't either. Nor the nanny. It's the help; a woman named "Dorita." She's a small woman who rides the bus and smells of tuna. Dorita is married to Dorito. After another good beating with the umbrella, hopefully Dorita will remember to lay out Madam's towel.
After the shower fiasco, Gina dragged her still dirty ass into her Acura and drove to the studio. For breakfast, Gina had a Red Bull and a bowl of gruel. Kerry wishes that he could live Gina Barberi's, "Red Bull wishes and instant oatmeal dreams. "
Boners (brought to you by roast chicken)
1. "Incest is Funny": During a speech, Still-Vice President, Richard "Dick" Cheney, joked that he had "Cheney's on both sides of the family — and we don’t even live in West Virginia." Mr. Cheney also commented on the fact that he could make such a remark as he was not running for re-election. Cheney later apologized.
2. "911? I Am So Dumb": An Orem woman called police when she realized that she was trapped in her car. The car battery had died and the woman was unaware of the manual door locks that can be operated from the inside of the vehicle regardless of battery power. Police arrived on the scene, but were unable to communicate the operation through the glass window. Finally they called the woman's cell phone and were able to talk her out of the situation.
3. "You Are Such A Good Kisser": A 17-year-old female was pulled over after police noticed her swerving erratically. When officers asked if she had been drinking, the driver indicated that she can been making out with a drunk boy, but that she hadn't been drinking. Police discovered several empty beer bottles in the car and and empty beer can int he driver's purse.
The woman who locked herself in her own car is Boner of the Day.
 | The Huggin' Cats A short poem by Dr. Seuss "The Catses are asses", Bill came to say. "They pee on the stairs. They coitus in pairs!" "'Coons through the cat door, making messes galore!" "Rush is a bastard, G. Gordon, a whore!" "Their big ass-cat friends, Come and eat all my food!" "If they do it again, I'll serve them up stewed!" |
All About Gina Pt. 2
Gina teased herself with an apple. She's been so good lately. She'd drinking water, only allowing herself one latte per week, eating lean cuisine for lunch, and standing throughout the show. She even provided herself with a healthy snack; an apple. Just as she was about to bite into the crisp, refreshing flesh - she realized she still had her fake tooth in the front and it would likely be ripped out by a fruit as tough as an apple. Bill wondered if Gina had ever heard of a knife.
Jonesie and Joe were outside engaged in a riotous game of Habib Says (the Egyptian version of Simon Says). Suddenly, the incontinent chihuahua came outside to join them. Jonesie turned to Precious and commanded, "Simon says, 'Stop!'" Precious stopped. Jonesie then commanded, "Simon says, 'Pee!'" Precious produced urine. Jonesie was so pleased, "It works!"
Joe brought home a whole case of dog food for Precious. He's optimistic.
Jonesie informed Gina that she had named her belly button. When questioned as to the name she had bestowed, Jonesie pronounced, "Barbie Magic Princess!" She then walked around the house, exposing her navel and announcing, "Barbie Magic Princess!" Bill encouraged Gina to remember this moment when there is a line of boys outside of the house waiting for Jonesie.
Gina is dirty and itchy.
Gina's Sign-off
"Dirt Don't Hurt."
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