Episode #4971
Opening Song
"People Who Died" - The Jim Carroll Band
The Day The Comedy Died
Famed comedian George Carlin passed away. George Carlin was one of a kind. An original. He will be missed. George, like Radio From Hell, didn't care for most things. George was still touring and writing up until the day he died. Unfortunately all of the other radio stations are playing old and safe comedy bits from the venerable comedian; bits like "Wonderful WINO" and "Al Sleet the Hippie Dippy Weatherman." They're not terrible bits, but certainly not the best bits performed by Carlin. Carlin didn't get really, really funny until he got cranky and pissed.
Dazed and Confused
Gina didn't know that George Carlin had passed away until the opening number. She was "discombobulated" this morning and didn't listen to the radio. As Gina leaves the home in the morning, she continues to forget about all of the road-closures in her area. She has to drive clear south in order to come back north to the studio.
Bad Idea
Ben, The Li'l Wienie Intern, wrote Bill and e-mail suggesting that the interns be allowed to produce a show whilst Kerry, Bill, and Gina are on vacation. Ben theorized that most people don't like "The Best of Radio From Hell" shows and would prefer some live entertainment from the untrained interns. That won't be happening. Most people do like "The Best of Radio From Hell," as is demonstrated by the ratings. Gina pointed out, however, that they often complain that there's no good place for people to train to be on-air talents. They won't allow theinterns to produce an entire show, but Kerry will allow the interns to produce a short segment that they'll listen to and critique.
Boners (brought to you by fresh trout from the Smith & Morehouse reservoir, which is approximately 11 miles outside of Oakley, UT)
1. "The Good Shepard is Really a Wolf": Rev. Tim Bumgardner, who forced the city of Wellington to display a Christian nativity scene in 2005, and was praised by Bill O'Reilly for his actions, has been accused of inflating his insurance claim after a supposed robbery. First of all, he wasn't robbed. His ex-wife had taken some belongings, and he was aware of this situation. Secondly, he claimed a $6,000 "Louis Vuitton" handbag was taken. Rev. Bumgardner's ex-wife testified that the bag was a knock-off that he hadn't even paid for; it was given to him by a parishioner.
2. "I Was Trying to Get that Danged Ol' Frog": A .22 caliber bullet intended to kill a frog passed through a mobile home wall and into the leg of an unsuspecting female resident. Chad Murrat claimed to be target shooting near the woman's trailer when he noticed a frog on a pond. He fired twice at the frog, and one roundricocheted and entered the mobile home.
3. "This Gigantic Brassiere Was Your Mother's": The father of the late Anna Nicole Smith's baby, Larry Birkhead, recently spent $3,000 at an auction to purchase some of Ms. Smith's lingerie. He claims that he wants to give it to the child when she's old enough.
Larry Birkhead is Boner of the Day.
The Selling of the Bride
This past weekend, Kerry attended a traditional Chinese wedding as a member of the wedding party. The ceremony begins with a procession of the groom's party to the home of the bride. Each member of the party hold a tray covered with a red cloth that conceals a gift of tea, nuts, liquor, cakes, etc. The family of the bride will not surrender the bride until the contents of a red-envelope can be agreed upon. This involves a great deal of good natured haggling. One of the first things brought into the house is a whole, roasted suckling pig. The people carrying the pig must be careful not to face the buttocks of the porcine toward either the family shrine nor the wedding shrine. There were some tea ceremonies. After the wedding, there was a great deal of food and drink. Of course, everyone wanted the wedding to keep going, so they needed to go somewhere with liquor. "Kerry's got liquor!" "I do!" That's how Kerry and Sue entertained 45 people with drunken guitar hero until 3:00am.
DJ Camp
This year's "Morning Show Boot Camp" is in Denver, CO. There's a picture of Bill up on the camp's website as he will be moderating a panel. Bill thinks he looks out of place compared to the cast of "The Morning Stiffy." Gina wondered why they would name their show "The Morning Stiffy." Well, Gina, sometimes men wake up in the morning.... Never mind. It's a show about the softer side of household hints.
Gina won't be on the women's forum. She doesn't bitch about her male compatriots enough. Richie won't be on the producer's panel either. Apparently they only want producers that can book big guests. Richie doesn't book big guests; he just helps make Radio From Hell #1 in the ratings. That's not interesting at all. Of course, all four of them will be attending a conference on "10 Ways to Become the Next Million Dollar Morning Show."
Fat Chance
Richie has finally accepted the fact that Bill is never going to stop drinking coffee, so he needs to learn to make it each morning. Gina didn't know that Richie wanted him to give up his coffee. Of course he does. Richie would very much like to see Bill observe the W.o.W., which is an insider's way of saying the "Word of Wisdom." Mormonism has all kids of abbreviations:
Richie wants to use something like that for his new LDS podcast; an inside Mormon reference. Something like "The Fourth Block", "Linger Longer", "Beyond a Shadow of a Doubt", "Put Your Shoulder to the Podcast", "The Gadianton Roberzz", "Kolob Kids", "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree", "Hie Thee to the Podcast", or "And it Came to Podcast."
Neglected News
Dr. Drew made a self-serving diagnosis that Angelina Jolie's charitable work is self-serving. Tom Cruise is a mentally ill clam-digger. Britney's dad is putting the clamps on her *bike horn* spending. The honk should always follow the "clamps on her." Mary Krate and Nichole Reechy are eating carrot sticks together.
Gina's Sign-off
"I can do ten things."
Opening Song
"People Who Died" - The Jim Carroll Band
The Day The Comedy Died
Famed comedian George Carlin passed away. George Carlin was one of a kind. An original. He will be missed. George, like Radio From Hell, didn't care for most things. George was still touring and writing up until the day he died. Unfortunately all of the other radio stations are playing old and safe comedy bits from the venerable comedian; bits like "Wonderful WINO" and "Al Sleet the Hippie Dippy Weatherman." They're not terrible bits, but certainly not the best bits performed by Carlin. Carlin didn't get really, really funny until he got cranky and pissed.
Dazed and Confused
Gina didn't know that George Carlin had passed away until the opening number. She was "discombobulated" this morning and didn't listen to the radio. As Gina leaves the home in the morning, she continues to forget about all of the road-closures in her area. She has to drive clear south in order to come back north to the studio.
Bad Idea
Ben, The Li'l Wienie Intern, wrote Bill and e-mail suggesting that the interns be allowed to produce a show whilst Kerry, Bill, and Gina are on vacation. Ben theorized that most people don't like "The Best of Radio From Hell" shows and would prefer some live entertainment from the untrained interns. That won't be happening. Most people do like "The Best of Radio From Hell," as is demonstrated by the ratings. Gina pointed out, however, that they often complain that there's no good place for people to train to be on-air talents. They won't allow theinterns to produce an entire show, but Kerry will allow the interns to produce a short segment that they'll listen to and critique.
Boners (brought to you by fresh trout from the Smith & Morehouse reservoir, which is approximately 11 miles outside of Oakley, UT)
1. "The Good Shepard is Really a Wolf": Rev. Tim Bumgardner, who forced the city of Wellington to display a Christian nativity scene in 2005, and was praised by Bill O'Reilly for his actions, has been accused of inflating his insurance claim after a supposed robbery. First of all, he wasn't robbed. His ex-wife had taken some belongings, and he was aware of this situation. Secondly, he claimed a $6,000 "Louis Vuitton" handbag was taken. Rev. Bumgardner's ex-wife testified that the bag was a knock-off that he hadn't even paid for; it was given to him by a parishioner.
2. "I Was Trying to Get that Danged Ol' Frog": A .22 caliber bullet intended to kill a frog passed through a mobile home wall and into the leg of an unsuspecting female resident. Chad Murrat claimed to be target shooting near the woman's trailer when he noticed a frog on a pond. He fired twice at the frog, and one roundricocheted and entered the mobile home.
3. "This Gigantic Brassiere Was Your Mother's": The father of the late Anna Nicole Smith's baby, Larry Birkhead, recently spent $3,000 at an auction to purchase some of Ms. Smith's lingerie. He claims that he wants to give it to the child when she's old enough.
Larry Birkhead is Boner of the Day.
The Selling of the Bride
This past weekend, Kerry attended a traditional Chinese wedding as a member of the wedding party. The ceremony begins with a procession of the groom's party to the home of the bride. Each member of the party hold a tray covered with a red cloth that conceals a gift of tea, nuts, liquor, cakes, etc. The family of the bride will not surrender the bride until the contents of a red-envelope can be agreed upon. This involves a great deal of good natured haggling. One of the first things brought into the house is a whole, roasted suckling pig. The people carrying the pig must be careful not to face the buttocks of the porcine toward either the family shrine nor the wedding shrine. There were some tea ceremonies. After the wedding, there was a great deal of food and drink. Of course, everyone wanted the wedding to keep going, so they needed to go somewhere with liquor. "Kerry's got liquor!" "I do!" That's how Kerry and Sue entertained 45 people with drunken guitar hero until 3:00am.
DJ Camp
This year's "Morning Show Boot Camp" is in Denver, CO. There's a picture of Bill up on the camp's website as he will be moderating a panel. Bill thinks he looks out of place compared to the cast of "The Morning Stiffy." Gina wondered why they would name their show "The Morning Stiffy." Well, Gina, sometimes men wake up in the morning.... Never mind. It's a show about the softer side of household hints.
Gina won't be on the women's forum. She doesn't bitch about her male compatriots enough. Richie won't be on the producer's panel either. Apparently they only want producers that can book big guests. Richie doesn't book big guests; he just helps make Radio From Hell #1 in the ratings. That's not interesting at all. Of course, all four of them will be attending a conference on "10 Ways to Become the Next Million Dollar Morning Show."
Fat Chance
Richie has finally accepted the fact that Bill is never going to stop drinking coffee, so he needs to learn to make it each morning. Gina didn't know that Richie wanted him to give up his coffee. Of course he does. Richie would very much like to see Bill observe the W.o.W., which is an insider's way of saying the "Word of Wisdom." Mormonism has all kids of abbreviations:
- G.C. - General Conference.
- B.o.M - Book of Mormon
- P.P.I - Personal Priesthood Interview.
- P.B. - Patriarchal Blessing
- M.W. - Multiple Wives
Richie wants to use something like that for his new LDS podcast; an inside Mormon reference. Something like "The Fourth Block", "Linger Longer", "Beyond a Shadow of a Doubt", "Put Your Shoulder to the Podcast", "The Gadianton Roberzz", "Kolob Kids", "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree", "Hie Thee to the Podcast", or "And it Came to Podcast."
Neglected News
Dr. Drew made a self-serving diagnosis that Angelina Jolie's charitable work is self-serving. Tom Cruise is a mentally ill clam-digger. Britney's dad is putting the clamps on her *bike horn* spending. The honk should always follow the "clamps on her." Mary Krate and Nichole Reechy are eating carrot sticks together.
Gina's Sign-off
"I can do ten things."
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