Episode #4989
Homeless Gentleman
Richie is homeless, or will be in the near future. Richie's roommate, former intern Damon (with the beard), is getting married and moving out. Richie called Bill to ask if he could live in Bill's newly remodeled attic. Richie thought that he and Bill could get ready together. Unfortunately, the bathroom in the attic isn't quite finished. That's ok, Richie really wanted to get ready with Bill, in the big walk-in shower downstairs. Richie will wear a swimsuit so it's not so gay.
Bill used his psychic connection with Mrs. Bill to ask if Richie could live in the attic. Unfortunately, Mrs. Bill doesn't think it a good idea. Richie could call Sue, but his ears would likely bleed with her answer. Richie will just have to talk his inappropriate Grandmother into letting him live in her condo.
Boners (brought to you by a margarita pizza)
1. "It's For Good Luck": Performing a Wiccan ceremony to thank the gods for a recent stream of good luck, an Indiana woman stabbed herself in the foot. The ritual involved trusting several three-foot swords into the ground. One trust when awry and pierced the woman's foot.
2. "She Likes Riding Up There": A drunken fight between newlyweds resulted in the wife riding on top of a car as the husband sped off. The husband, Diamond Mircea, walked out of the fight and got into his car and started to drive away. The wife, Monica Mircea, climbed on top of the car and held on as it sped off down the road. After about a block, Mrs. Mircea was thrown off and stuck her skull on the pavement.
3. "I Am Not Gay. I Never Have Been Gay": Senator Larry Craig (R-ID), the senator who was arrested on suspicion of lewd behavior in a Minneapolis airport bathroom, recently addressed rising gas prices on the floor of the senate. Using a somewhat unfortunate turn of phrase considering his wide-stance Sen. Craig announced, "And we wont let the Venezuelas or the Nigerias or the Saudi Arabias or the Irans jerk usaround by the gas nozzle, the way they are doing it now."
Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) is Boner of the Day.
Bill Frost
Mad Men is back, and kind of confusing for a first time viewer. The recap was a little lacking and made the show look like a soap opera. Find a synopsis on the web. Eureaka has returned to the Sci-Fi channel....for some reason. The Baby Borrowers is over. That's a shame. The angry Lewis Black to discover The Root of All Evil; ultimate fighting or bloggers. Watch Last Comic Standing on Thursday and Utah's own, Marcus. There's a gay Utahn on Bravo's Project Runway. KSL is still talking about that untattooed semi-straight singer from American Idol. Dr. Who is over on Friday. Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job, the show what makes Bill Frost's head hurt, returns. Perhaps Dr. Steve Brule will finally discover the cause of diarrhea. Pam Anderson has a new show. Apparently "Pam: The Girl is Loose" won over other titles like, "Pam: Clamydia on the Loose" and "Hepititis C: Here it Comes."
Unforgettable Quote
"That's not birthing kids. That's pinching them off." - Bill Allred
Alternative Transportation
Taking an flight on an airline used to be an event. The airlines used to treat passengers like guests instead of cattle. Bill is sick of it. He's walking to the morning DJ convention in Denver. Atropos had a better idea; the greyhound bus. Bill and Mrs. Bill can arrive in Denver from Salt Lake City in only 10 to 12 hours. Riding the bus can be an experience. Bill once took the bus from Ogden to Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, Bill made a mistake that the other passengers didn't - he didn't take the ride drunk. Thafort's one of the things on Kerry's Alcoholic Bucket List. So far, the list goes something like:
Bill has accomplished all of the above.
A Pinkish Hue
Daddy Gary's Grateful Dead tribute band, Shades of Gray, was playing for Pioneer Day in Park City. Gina met her mother, The Sainted Mary Claire, to watch the show. Mary Claire saw Gina and immediately asked when Gina was going to get a tan? To the leather-skinned Mary Claire, a good tan is absolutely necessary. When Gina explained that she was trying to be good to her skin and would be avoiding a tanning bed, Mary Claire insisted that she use some self-tanning lotion. Gina hates the smell of the stuff. It's disgusting. It smells like Lindsay Lohan.
Unforgettable Quote
"He was trying to have nose-sex with your arm." - Bill Allred
Gina's Sign-off
"I smell like Lindsay Lohan"
Homeless Gentleman
Richie is homeless, or will be in the near future. Richie's roommate, former intern Damon (with the beard), is getting married and moving out. Richie called Bill to ask if he could live in Bill's newly remodeled attic. Richie thought that he and Bill could get ready together. Unfortunately, the bathroom in the attic isn't quite finished. That's ok, Richie really wanted to get ready with Bill, in the big walk-in shower downstairs. Richie will wear a swimsuit so it's not so gay.
Bill used his psychic connection with Mrs. Bill to ask if Richie could live in the attic. Unfortunately, Mrs. Bill doesn't think it a good idea. Richie could call Sue, but his ears would likely bleed with her answer. Richie will just have to talk his inappropriate Grandmother into letting him live in her condo.
Boners (brought to you by a margarita pizza)
1. "It's For Good Luck": Performing a Wiccan ceremony to thank the gods for a recent stream of good luck, an Indiana woman stabbed herself in the foot. The ritual involved trusting several three-foot swords into the ground. One trust when awry and pierced the woman's foot.
2. "She Likes Riding Up There": A drunken fight between newlyweds resulted in the wife riding on top of a car as the husband sped off. The husband, Diamond Mircea, walked out of the fight and got into his car and started to drive away. The wife, Monica Mircea, climbed on top of the car and held on as it sped off down the road. After about a block, Mrs. Mircea was thrown off and stuck her skull on the pavement.
3. "I Am Not Gay. I Never Have Been Gay": Senator Larry Craig (R-ID), the senator who was arrested on suspicion of lewd behavior in a Minneapolis airport bathroom, recently addressed rising gas prices on the floor of the senate. Using a somewhat unfortunate turn of phrase considering his wide-stance Sen. Craig announced, "And we wont let the Venezuelas or the Nigerias or the Saudi Arabias or the Irans jerk usaround by the gas nozzle, the way they are doing it now."
Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) is Boner of the Day.
Bill Frost
Mad Men is back, and kind of confusing for a first time viewer. The recap was a little lacking and made the show look like a soap opera. Find a synopsis on the web. Eureaka has returned to the Sci-Fi channel....for some reason. The Baby Borrowers is over. That's a shame. The angry Lewis Black to discover The Root of All Evil; ultimate fighting or bloggers. Watch Last Comic Standing on Thursday and Utah's own, Marcus. There's a gay Utahn on Bravo's Project Runway. KSL is still talking about that untattooed semi-straight singer from American Idol. Dr. Who is over on Friday. Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job, the show what makes Bill Frost's head hurt, returns. Perhaps Dr. Steve Brule will finally discover the cause of diarrhea. Pam Anderson has a new show. Apparently "Pam: The Girl is Loose" won over other titles like, "Pam: Clamydia on the Loose" and "Hepititis C: Here it Comes."
Unforgettable Quote
"That's not birthing kids. That's pinching them off." - Bill Allred
Alternative Transportation
Taking an flight on an airline used to be an event. The airlines used to treat passengers like guests instead of cattle. Bill is sick of it. He's walking to the morning DJ convention in Denver. Atropos had a better idea; the greyhound bus. Bill and Mrs. Bill can arrive in Denver from Salt Lake City in only 10 to 12 hours. Riding the bus can be an experience. Bill once took the bus from Ogden to Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, Bill made a mistake that the other passengers didn't - he didn't take the ride drunk. Thafort's one of the things on Kerry's Alcoholic Bucket List. So far, the list goes something like:
1. Take a cross-country bus ride while drunk.
2. Drink an entire case of beer in one day.
3. Take 100 shots of beer in 100 minutes.
4. Blackout before noon.
2. Drink an entire case of beer in one day.
3. Take 100 shots of beer in 100 minutes.
4. Blackout before noon.
Bill has accomplished all of the above.
A Pinkish Hue
Daddy Gary's Grateful Dead tribute band, Shades of Gray, was playing for Pioneer Day in Park City. Gina met her mother, The Sainted Mary Claire, to watch the show. Mary Claire saw Gina and immediately asked when Gina was going to get a tan? To the leather-skinned Mary Claire, a good tan is absolutely necessary. When Gina explained that she was trying to be good to her skin and would be avoiding a tanning bed, Mary Claire insisted that she use some self-tanning lotion. Gina hates the smell of the stuff. It's disgusting. It smells like Lindsay Lohan.
Unforgettable Quote
"He was trying to have nose-sex with your arm." - Bill Allred
Gina's Sign-off
"I smell like Lindsay Lohan"
1 comment | Leave a comment