RFH - 2009-08-20
Episode #5238
Days until contract expiration: 224
Day 2 of Gina's most latest walking streak.
Opening Song
"Stop The World" - Riddlin' Kids (http://tinyurl.com/ln8sy2)
Sign-offs
I Can See Your Dirty Pillows
When Gina first returned from the boob store, she was told not to go bra shopping for a while. Apparently new boobs need some time to settle in. Of course, Gina, who had never enjoyed bra shopping, went right out to The Bra Barn (next door to Panties by The Pound) for a new bra. When the attendent asked her size, Gina replied, "I'm a C." The clerk just laughed at her. She was not a C. Gina was confused; that was the size she had asked for at the boobie store!?
Today Gina is just wearing a bralet - a single piece "shelf" for her chesticles. Gina doesn't have any cute bras. She has some old, boring bras as well as a few maternity and nursing bras that she still wears. Apparently Joe has some affection for the nursing bra's generous openings.
Besides Joe, Li'l Mohamed is also trying to figure out Gina's boobs. The other day Gina had the 18-month-old in her room with her as she changed. When she removed her top, Li'l Mohamed looked quizzically at the protruding mounds of flesh and asked, "Pillow?"
It's Puts The Lotion On its Skin
Sean from New York is flying out to visit Utah and Radio From Hell. During his trip, he'll be staying in Bill's nearly remodeled attic. Gina can't imagine why Bill is allowing a complete stranger to stay in his house. After all, Bill has only chatted with Sean through e-mail and a couple of phone calls. Even Mrs. Bill wondered about the wisdom of this act; Sean could do all kids of things whilst the family was sleeping! Gina suggested that they just lock him in the attic. That way, the family and the booze would be safe. Sean called in to assure Gina, Bill, and Mrs. Bill that he had no intention of killing The Allred family whilst they slept, and he no longer drinks, so the booze is safe as well.
Boners
1. "I Can Teach You To Drive In All Circumstances": A driving school instructor in New Mexico was charged with DWI after crashing his car. Police smelled intoxicants on the driver and conducted a field sobriety test. The soon-to-be-former instructor was unable to walk a straight line, nor to recite the alphabet.
2. "Kill The Innocent": After seven witnesses recanted their testimony against Troy Anthony Davis, who was convicted of murdering a police officer in 1989, The Supreme Court of The United States ordered that Mr. Davis receive a new trial. In changing their testimony, some of the witnesses implicated the prosecutions star witness as the potential murderer. Two of the justices dissented in the ruling. Clarence Thomas joined Antonin Scalia who wrote:
3. "They'd Kill You For a Bag of Soup": Phil Spector, who shot a woman in the face and killed her, is writing letters from behind bars. In his letters he details his fear for his safety and the injustice that he is being held in the same prison as Charles Manson and Sirhan Sirhan. Spector write that he'd prefer to be incarcerated in, "a better prison with people more like myself in it." Spector decries the "scumbags" and "gangsters" who would, "kill you here for a 39-cent bag of soup."
Phil Spector is Boner of the Day.
Ask a LARPr
Live Action Role Playing, also known as LARP, is a form of role-playing game in which the participants dress up and act out their characters. The rules very from group to group. Some play for points, some for minted coins, and some for the opportunity to really smack someone else around with a foam sword. Some people take the games too seriously, but most are just out to have a good time and play and adult form of Cowboys & Indians. If you'd like to try and play, just show up at an event. You can just watch, or you may be able to join as a Non-Player Character (NPC) and fight as a monster or goblin. See http://www.mythicrealms.com/ or http://www.larputah.com/ for more information.
Jeff Vice
Shorts is Robert Rodriguez' latest attempt at a children's movie. It sucks. Terrible plot, acting, and special effects. 1 star.
Post-Grad or, as Jeff would call it, Please Somebody Explain to Me What Alexis Bledel has, Because I Don't Get It. It has a great cast with no chemistry, and terrible material to work with. Even that lesbian Jane Lynch can't pull this movie out of the gutter. 1.5 stars.
The Merry Gentleman has a great premise, that never goes anywhere. A hitman, played by Michael Keaton, befiends the eye-witness to his latest killing. If anything ever happened it might be a good movie. It's much, much too dry. 2 stars.
In the Loop has more swearing that Geek Show movie night with Shannon and Jeff. It's a dark and cynical satire with the premise that the US and Britain are declaring war in the middle east. James Gandolfini is really good as the pacifist general. 3 stars.
Hump Day features two straight males who decide, as an art project, to create and perform in a gay porn film for a Seattle amateur porn contest. It's very funny, with a very realistic take on male relationships. 3 stars.
Inglourious Basterds. The French hated it. What more do you need to know? It's a fantasy movie about a crack team of Jewish American soliders who are dropped into Nazi-occupied France and tasked with bringing back 100 Nazi scalps - literally. Brad Pitt is acting a bit like John Wayne as played by George W. Bush. Jeff's only complains were the lack of character development for a number of the Basterds, and not enough Nazi killin' until the very end. If you're pro-Nazi, you'll probably want to avoid this movie. 3 stars from Jeff (plus an extra star from Kerry because the surrender monkeys hated it).
Unforgettable Quote
"Are you a missionary with AIDS?" - Gina Barberi
Gina's Sign-off
"Stay care."
Episode #5238
Days until contract expiration: 224
Day 2 of Gina's most latest walking streak.
Opening Song
"Stop The World" - Riddlin' Kids (http://tinyurl.com/ln8sy2)
Sign-offs
- "I put two and two together and decided you're pissing me off."
- "If you don't know what an Indian burn is, come here and I'll show you."
I Can See Your Dirty Pillows
When Gina first returned from the boob store, she was told not to go bra shopping for a while. Apparently new boobs need some time to settle in. Of course, Gina, who had never enjoyed bra shopping, went right out to The Bra Barn (next door to Panties by The Pound) for a new bra. When the attendent asked her size, Gina replied, "I'm a C." The clerk just laughed at her. She was not a C. Gina was confused; that was the size she had asked for at the boobie store!?
Today Gina is just wearing a bralet - a single piece "shelf" for her chesticles. Gina doesn't have any cute bras. She has some old, boring bras as well as a few maternity and nursing bras that she still wears. Apparently Joe has some affection for the nursing bra's generous openings.
Besides Joe, Li'l Mohamed is also trying to figure out Gina's boobs. The other day Gina had the 18-month-old in her room with her as she changed. When she removed her top, Li'l Mohamed looked quizzically at the protruding mounds of flesh and asked, "Pillow?"
It's Puts The Lotion On its Skin
Sean from New York is flying out to visit Utah and Radio From Hell. During his trip, he'll be staying in Bill's nearly remodeled attic. Gina can't imagine why Bill is allowing a complete stranger to stay in his house. After all, Bill has only chatted with Sean through e-mail and a couple of phone calls. Even Mrs. Bill wondered about the wisdom of this act; Sean could do all kids of things whilst the family was sleeping! Gina suggested that they just lock him in the attic. That way, the family and the booze would be safe. Sean called in to assure Gina, Bill, and Mrs. Bill that he had no intention of killing The Allred family whilst they slept, and he no longer drinks, so the booze is safe as well.
Boners
1. "I Can Teach You To Drive In All Circumstances": A driving school instructor in New Mexico was charged with DWI after crashing his car. Police smelled intoxicants on the driver and conducted a field sobriety test. The soon-to-be-former instructor was unable to walk a straight line, nor to recite the alphabet.
2. "Kill The Innocent": After seven witnesses recanted their testimony against Troy Anthony Davis, who was convicted of murdering a police officer in 1989, The Supreme Court of The United States ordered that Mr. Davis receive a new trial. In changing their testimony, some of the witnesses implicated the prosecutions star witness as the potential murderer. Two of the justices dissented in the ruling. Clarence Thomas joined Antonin Scalia who wrote:
"This court has never held that the Constitution forbids the execution of a convicted defendant who had a full and fair trial but is later able to convince a habeas court that he is 'actually' innocent."
3. "They'd Kill You For a Bag of Soup": Phil Spector, who shot a woman in the face and killed her, is writing letters from behind bars. In his letters he details his fear for his safety and the injustice that he is being held in the same prison as Charles Manson and Sirhan Sirhan. Spector write that he'd prefer to be incarcerated in, "a better prison with people more like myself in it." Spector decries the "scumbags" and "gangsters" who would, "kill you here for a 39-cent bag of soup."
Phil Spector is Boner of the Day.
Ask a LARPr
Live Action Role Playing, also known as LARP, is a form of role-playing game in which the participants dress up and act out their characters. The rules very from group to group. Some play for points, some for minted coins, and some for the opportunity to really smack someone else around with a foam sword. Some people take the games too seriously, but most are just out to have a good time and play and adult form of Cowboys & Indians. If you'd like to try and play, just show up at an event. You can just watch, or you may be able to join as a Non-Player Character (NPC) and fight as a monster or goblin. See http://www.mythicrealms.com/ or http://www.larputah.com/ for more information.
Jeff Vice
Shorts is Robert Rodriguez' latest attempt at a children's movie. It sucks. Terrible plot, acting, and special effects. 1 star.
Post-Grad or, as Jeff would call it, Please Somebody Explain to Me What Alexis Bledel has, Because I Don't Get It. It has a great cast with no chemistry, and terrible material to work with. Even that lesbian Jane Lynch can't pull this movie out of the gutter. 1.5 stars.
The Merry Gentleman has a great premise, that never goes anywhere. A hitman, played by Michael Keaton, befiends the eye-witness to his latest killing. If anything ever happened it might be a good movie. It's much, much too dry. 2 stars.
In the Loop has more swearing that Geek Show movie night with Shannon and Jeff. It's a dark and cynical satire with the premise that the US and Britain are declaring war in the middle east. James Gandolfini is really good as the pacifist general. 3 stars.
Hump Day features two straight males who decide, as an art project, to create and perform in a gay porn film for a Seattle amateur porn contest. It's very funny, with a very realistic take on male relationships. 3 stars.
Inglourious Basterds. The French hated it. What more do you need to know? It's a fantasy movie about a crack team of Jewish American soliders who are dropped into Nazi-occupied France and tasked with bringing back 100 Nazi scalps - literally. Brad Pitt is acting a bit like John Wayne as played by George W. Bush. Jeff's only complains were the lack of character development for a number of the Basterds, and not enough Nazi killin' until the very end. If you're pro-Nazi, you'll probably want to avoid this movie. 3 stars from Jeff (plus an extra star from Kerry because the surrender monkeys hated it).
Unforgettable Quote
"Are you a missionary with AIDS?" - Gina Barberi
Gina's Sign-off
"Stay care."
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