Episode #5064
Days until contract expiration: 499
Sign-off
The Short Bus to Oregon
Gina and Joe traveled all the way to Portland just to see a movie. Ok, that's not entirely true. First they went to the coast and looked for potential "campgrounds" on which to park their trailer. After that, then they stayed up late and went to a 10:30pm showing of Quantum of Solstice. Of course, they didn't really plan for the movie, show they showed up late and had to watch, with their necks craned, from the second row of the theater.
Attention to Detail
The new X96 billboards feature Kerry, Bill, and Gina and reference the infamous Xmas movie, A Christmas Story. Bill's face was digitally placed into the bunny suit and Gina was inserted into the cowboy outfit. The other iconic moment they wanted to recreate was the soap-in-the-mouth, which occurs after Ralphie utters a "fudge"-like obscenity. Unfortunately the angles in the movie were wrong, so Kerry's face just couldn't be added. Not to be deterred, Kerry decided to reenact the scene. First he tried to find the exact brand of soap quoted in the movie, but was unable. He did find an old bar of peppermint "flavored" soap that seemed to fit the bill. Richie got him some appropriate glasses, and they found a "Mr. Rogers" style sweater that he wore backwards to get the neckline just right.
Boners (brought to you by popped corn)
1. "Man, I Am Having a Bad Day": In an altercation outside of a Salt Lake City 7-11, a man was hit in the head with a beer bottle (nope - not Ogden, but Salt Lake City), stabbed in the stomach, then, as he stepped from the curb, he was hit by a slow moving car. He was taken to the hospital with minor injuries.
2. "Mom! You Promise Not to Tell I'll Give You a Fiver": After fighting about taking his medication, and 11-year-old boy hit his mother in the head with a saw, leaving a small laceration. The boy then offered his mother $5 if she refused to call the police. The mother refused the bribe and the police arrested the boy.
3. "My Boyfriend is a Hunka, Hunka Burnin' Love": Allan Lane Scott was doused in gasoline and set alight by his girlfriend after a fight on Friday evening. The two were traveling in a vehicle and began arguing. Traci Nicole Gilson then found a container of gasoline in the vehicle, threw it on Mr. Scott and lit it. Police have arrested Ms. Gilson and charged her with attempted murder.
The saw wielding, mother bribing boy is Boner of the Day.
The Silver Screen
Bill saw Brett "Jimmy Chunga" Smith on Friday. No, not up on "The Silver Screen", but rather in the bathroom of the theater. Bill had entered the bathroom to take a preventative pee before Role Models began, and noticed the familiar face. As he was washing his hands, he decided to be kind and say, "How ya doin' friend? Haven't seen you in a long time." The man turned to Bill and said, "What's that?" Bill figured he must have been mistaken. Guess it wasn't Brett. But Bill was so sure it had been. It bothered him all through his movie. Kerry indicated that Brett has had a lot of cosmetic surgical alterations since they last worked together. It still could very well have still been Mr Smith.
Bill Frost
The show about a couple of trannies and a good lookin' woman, Lipstick Jungle, is canceled. Christian Slater has been put back into the field after cancellation of My Own Worst Enemy. Soul Train will no longer be seen. Pushing Daisies is likely canceled. Watch it whilst you can. Dirty Sexy Money should also be watched whilst you still can. Alley MacBeal, the former stunt-girl on KUTV and KSTU is on KTLA, is a nut-bag dye job that can't remember the name of her favorite TV show. CSI:Miami is still on and still........intense. America's Next Top Gina Doesn't Care is still on. The season finale of South Park. The rock-opera version of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia will still not be watched by Kerry. Sarah Silverman finds her dad and makes out with him. 24 has some kind of two hour movie. Maybe Kim Bauer will be chased by a jumping shark whilst Jack talks to the woman president on Chloe's pinched face. Stephen Colbert will have his own special celebrating the awesomeness of Xmas and of Stephen Colbert.
Mo' Money
Gina came into the studio this morning an announced to Bill, "I need more money." Gina feels that she deserves the boost in pay because F.O.P Mary recognized her as she walked by a singles bar and came running out to tell Gina how much she loved the show and the podcast from all the way up in Portland. That's nothing. When Kerry and Bill worked for a tiny radio station with a budget for events and activities, they were in Paris when they were recognized by two F.O.Ps wondering what they were doing in Paris.
You Have My Attention
This weekend, Bill attended a fundraiser for a local Catholic school. Bill and Mrs. Bill were waiting in line for food when the rather tall woman in front of Bill turned around and said, "Ahhhhh... You're just right." Apparently the woman is dating a man who is the same height as Bill, who is 5'6" tall, and quite a bit shorter than Mrs. Bill. The three of them began discussing some of the logistical problems with dating a shorter men when the subject came to dancing. The woman suddenly grabbed Bill, pulled his head into her bosoms and began to dance. A moment later she became a little flustered and attempted to apologize. There was no need. It was great!
Oh, and Kerry, Catholics always have a raffle for a wheelbarrow full of booze. Yes, you even get to keep the wheelbarrow.
Neglected News
Lindsay has a furry hag. It's not working out with that DJ, so she's going back to men. Brimney is making out with Madrona's dogger. One F.O.P doesn't appreciate the negative news about Jamima Amadon. After all, angelina is just an attention whore that nobody heard of before she broke up Brill and Jamima's marriage. She's a man-stealer homewrecker with pseudo-confidence who tries to make herself look like Mother Theresa while reopening the old would and REWOUNDING JAMIMA TO THIS DAY!!! Jumpym Tamberman was somewhere with someone doing something Tambermany.
Gina's Sign-off
"Where am I gonna go to lunch?"
Days until contract expiration: 499
Sign-off
- "He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead."
The Short Bus to Oregon
Gina and Joe traveled all the way to Portland just to see a movie. Ok, that's not entirely true. First they went to the coast and looked for potential "campgrounds" on which to park their trailer. After that, then they stayed up late and went to a 10:30pm showing of Quantum of Solstice. Of course, they didn't really plan for the movie, show they showed up late and had to watch, with their necks craned, from the second row of the theater.
Attention to Detail
The new X96 billboards feature Kerry, Bill, and Gina and reference the infamous Xmas movie, A Christmas Story. Bill's face was digitally placed into the bunny suit and Gina was inserted into the cowboy outfit. The other iconic moment they wanted to recreate was the soap-in-the-mouth, which occurs after Ralphie utters a "fudge"-like obscenity. Unfortunately the angles in the movie were wrong, so Kerry's face just couldn't be added. Not to be deterred, Kerry decided to reenact the scene. First he tried to find the exact brand of soap quoted in the movie, but was unable. He did find an old bar of peppermint "flavored" soap that seemed to fit the bill. Richie got him some appropriate glasses, and they found a "Mr. Rogers" style sweater that he wore backwards to get the neckline just right.
Boners (brought to you by popped corn)
1. "Man, I Am Having a Bad Day": In an altercation outside of a Salt Lake City 7-11, a man was hit in the head with a beer bottle (nope - not Ogden, but Salt Lake City), stabbed in the stomach, then, as he stepped from the curb, he was hit by a slow moving car. He was taken to the hospital with minor injuries.
2. "Mom! You Promise Not to Tell I'll Give You a Fiver": After fighting about taking his medication, and 11-year-old boy hit his mother in the head with a saw, leaving a small laceration. The boy then offered his mother $5 if she refused to call the police. The mother refused the bribe and the police arrested the boy.
3. "My Boyfriend is a Hunka, Hunka Burnin' Love": Allan Lane Scott was doused in gasoline and set alight by his girlfriend after a fight on Friday evening. The two were traveling in a vehicle and began arguing. Traci Nicole Gilson then found a container of gasoline in the vehicle, threw it on Mr. Scott and lit it. Police have arrested Ms. Gilson and charged her with attempted murder.
The saw wielding, mother bribing boy is Boner of the Day.
The Silver Screen
Bill saw Brett "Jimmy Chunga" Smith on Friday. No, not up on "The Silver Screen", but rather in the bathroom of the theater. Bill had entered the bathroom to take a preventative pee before Role Models began, and noticed the familiar face. As he was washing his hands, he decided to be kind and say, "How ya doin' friend? Haven't seen you in a long time." The man turned to Bill and said, "What's that?" Bill figured he must have been mistaken. Guess it wasn't Brett. But Bill was so sure it had been. It bothered him all through his movie. Kerry indicated that Brett has had a lot of cosmetic surgical alterations since they last worked together. It still could very well have still been Mr Smith.
Bill Frost
The show about a couple of trannies and a good lookin' woman, Lipstick Jungle, is canceled. Christian Slater has been put back into the field after cancellation of My Own Worst Enemy. Soul Train will no longer be seen. Pushing Daisies is likely canceled. Watch it whilst you can. Dirty Sexy Money should also be watched whilst you still can. Alley MacBeal, the former stunt-girl on KUTV and KSTU is on KTLA, is a nut-bag dye job that can't remember the name of her favorite TV show. CSI:Miami is still on and still........intense. America's Next Top Gina Doesn't Care is still on. The season finale of South Park. The rock-opera version of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia will still not be watched by Kerry. Sarah Silverman finds her dad and makes out with him. 24 has some kind of two hour movie. Maybe Kim Bauer will be chased by a jumping shark whilst Jack talks to the woman president on Chloe's pinched face. Stephen Colbert will have his own special celebrating the awesomeness of Xmas and of Stephen Colbert.
Mo' Money
Gina came into the studio this morning an announced to Bill, "I need more money." Gina feels that she deserves the boost in pay because F.O.P Mary recognized her as she walked by a singles bar and came running out to tell Gina how much she loved the show and the podcast from all the way up in Portland. That's nothing. When Kerry and Bill worked for a tiny radio station with a budget for events and activities, they were in Paris when they were recognized by two F.O.Ps wondering what they were doing in Paris.
You Have My Attention
This weekend, Bill attended a fundraiser for a local Catholic school. Bill and Mrs. Bill were waiting in line for food when the rather tall woman in front of Bill turned around and said, "Ahhhhh... You're just right." Apparently the woman is dating a man who is the same height as Bill, who is 5'6" tall, and quite a bit shorter than Mrs. Bill. The three of them began discussing some of the logistical problems with dating a shorter men when the subject came to dancing. The woman suddenly grabbed Bill, pulled his head into her bosoms and began to dance. A moment later she became a little flustered and attempted to apologize. There was no need. It was great!
Oh, and Kerry, Catholics always have a raffle for a wheelbarrow full of booze. Yes, you even get to keep the wheelbarrow.
Neglected News
Lindsay has a furry hag. It's not working out with that DJ, so she's going back to men. Brimney is making out with Madrona's dogger. One F.O.P doesn't appreciate the negative news about Jamima Amadon. After all, angelina is just an attention whore that nobody heard of before she broke up Brill and Jamima's marriage. She's a man-stealer homewrecker with pseudo-confidence who tries to make herself look like Mother Theresa while reopening the old would and REWOUNDING JAMIMA TO THIS DAY!!! Jumpym Tamberman was somewhere with someone doing something Tambermany.
Gina's Sign-off
"Where am I gonna go to lunch?"
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