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18 December 2013 @ 01:37 pm
The Twelve Days of Crom-mass  
(inspired by a tweet from Mr. Daylin Davis)

On the first day of Crom-mass, my dear Lord gave to me,
A bleeding and severed knee.

On the second day of Crom-mass, my dear Lord gave to me,
Two threaded ears,
and a bleeding and severed knee.

On the third day of Crom-mass, my dear Lord gave to me,
Three sharp swords,
Two threaded ears,
and a bleeding and severed knee.

On the fourth day of Crom-mass my dear Lord gave to me
Four pails of ale,
Three sharp swords,
Two threaded ears,
and a bleeding and severed knee.

On the fifth day of Crom-mas my dear Lord gave to me.
FIVE CHURLISH WHORES!
Four pails of ale,
Three sharp swords,
Two threaded ears,
and a bleeding and severed knee.

On the sixth day of Crom-mas my dear Lord gave to me.
Six midgets screaming,
FIVE CHURLISH WHORES!
Four pails of ale,
Three sharp swords,
Two threaded ears,
and a bleeding and severed knee.

On the seventh day of Crom-mas my dear Lord gave to me.
Seven plagues a spreading,
Six midgets screaming,
FIVE CHURLISH WHORES!
Four pails of ale,
Three sharp swords,
Two threaded ears,
and a bleeding and severed knee.

On the eighth day of Crom-mas my dear Lord gave to me.
Eight blades a slicing,
Seven plagues a spreading,
Six midgets screaming,
FIVE CHURLISH WHORES!
Four pails of ale,
Three sharp swords,
Two threaded ears,
and a bleeding and severed knee.

On the ninth day of Crom-mas my dear Lord gave to me.
Nine entrails falling,
Eight blades a slicing,
Seven plagues a spreading,
Six midgets screaming,
FIVE CHURLISH WHORES!
Four pails of ale,
Three sharp swords,
Two threaded ears,
and a bleeding and severed knee.

On the tenth day of Crom-mas my dear Lord gave to me.
Ten wenches burning,
Nine entrails falling,
Eight blades a slicing,
Seven plagues a spreading,
Six midgets screaming,
FIVE CHURLISH WHORES!
Four pails of ale,
Three sharp swords,
Two threaded ears,
and a bleeding and severed knee.

On the eleventh day of Crom-mas my dear Lord gave to me.
Eleven cities smoking,
Ten wenches burning,
Nine entrails falling,
Eight blades a slicing,
Seven plagues a spreading,
Six midgets screaming,
FIVE CHURLISH WHORES!
Four pails of ale,
Three sharp swords,
Two threaded ears,
and a bleeding and severed knee.


On the twelfth day of Crom-mas my dear Lord gave to me.
Twelve axed beheadings,
Eleven cities smoking,
Ten wenches burning,
Nine entrails falling,
Eight blades a slicing,
Seven plagues a spreading,
Six midgets screaming,
FIVE CHURLISH WHORES!
Four pails of ale,
Three sharp swords,
Two threaded ears,
and a bleeding and severed knee.