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19 July 2012 @ 11:25 pm
RFH - 2012-07-19  
Opening Song
Sell Out by Reel Big Fish

Do NOT work in radio…
One of the best ways Bill can think of to make people not work on the radio is to come hang out in the studio from 5:30 AM to 6:15 AM.  When they see the kind of bull sock that goes on, they won’t even dream of getting into the business.  Someone decided to text Bill at 10:00 PM when he was fast asleep and there’s nothing that would be important enough to rouse him from slumber.  Now nobody’s sure who’s supposed to be doing the remote tonight.  Greaaaaaaaat.  Bill apologizes for getting so angry but it really pissed him off and you’ll have to forgive him…but there’s things like the fact that when recording a promo the other day he spoke into the wrong mic.  These mics have been in the production studio for 20 years and have never been labeled correctly (although Luke the Intern finally got them identified correctly [thanks, Luke!]).  Bill’s not a legend, btw.  Legends are either out of work or about to get fired.  He’s notorious.  That’s better.  If Kerry doesn’t say hi to you in the hallway, it’s not because he has an ego…he’s notoriously shy.  If he could get away with being “the-guy-that-wears-sunglasses-all-the-time” he would.  He can’t though, ‘cause that’s a douchey thing to do.  

Fashion Challenge
Yesterday, Bill and Gina had a discussion about her fashion sense.  Today, Bill issued a challenge to Gina that will push them both to dress a little nicer each day.  Kerry doesn’t need the challenge because he already has a style.  To help her accomplish this, Gina reached out to Nordstrom for a personal shopper (Kerry’s wife Sue has given up on her completely).  Here are some of the questions that they asked her to get started:  Do you wear sleeveless items of clothing?  What activities do you do outside of work?  Are you allergic to any materials?  All of these questions befuddled Gina and will definitely confuse whomever the poor soul is that is tasked to help her improve her fashion sense.  Bill thinks that he would like to dress more “outdoorsy” but isn’t sure he can pull it off.  Sue texted in to the show to say that Bill isn’t going for style with that look but more of a statement about who he is:  a liberal that loves the outdoors and who is willing to pay way more than he should for food at the local farmer’s market.

Boner Candidates
Brought to you in part by chicken Caesar salad

#1 – Lock Your Doors, Hide Your Women…They’re Coming! (http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/07/18/lawmakers-condemn-michele-bachmann-s-claim-of-an-islamist-plot/)

The Winner is #2 – Don’t Make Me Come In There and Take Pictures of You Young Lady…I’ll Do It! (http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/54512534-78/photos-daughter-divine-police.html.csp)

#3 – Don’t Make Me Come In There and Blow Your Head Off Young Man…I’ll Do It! (http://www.abc4.com/content/news/top_stories/story/Police-Mom-threatened-9-year-old-son-with-handgun/ZMRZKIpsEk6i33SXO6oAQQ.cspx)

Festus and His Rights to Privacy
Gina’s not happy with Bill.  Off the air, he began to remind Festus (Gina’s oldest son) that as a teenage child he has zero rights to privacy while living in his mother’s house.  She will more than likely read any personal journals that he has, if he tries to sext a lady friend she’ll bust him for it and even with a lock on his door she’ll come in without his permission.  Bill just wanted to make sure he understands that at some point, he’ll move out and have his own place.  At that point, Gina will try and tell him to do something he doesn’t want to do and he can kindly say “nope…this is my place.”  He just has to hold out until that point.

Ask a Dive Recovery Person
Randy Champion is an archaeological diver who runs a business out of Draper.  They work primarily in the Dominican Republic on government mandated discoveries.  Most of the artifacts are from shallow water ship wrecks (down to about 60 Ft).  They are paid 50% of the commissions from anything they recover.  Pieces of Eight refer to the silver pieces that pirates used as currency and were named because they were cut into eight different pieces if needed as a way to “make change.”  They rarely have encounters with dangerous sea life…mostly the spiny urchins that sting you if you get too close.  They don’t want to be associated with “treasure hunters.”  They are much more regulated and professional and are held to a higher standard.  James Brolin (Mr. Barbara Streisand) was their spokesman for a while and had a video introduction on their website.  Their boat captain is extremely superstitious.  He won’t allow bananas on the ship because they’re bad luck.  They never leave for a dive on a Friday, either.  They hire divers primarily in the Dominican Republic because they would like to give back to the community there.

Movie Reviews with Jeff Michael Vice

Take This Waltz: Michelle Williams is a great actress.  Jeff loves her.  She’s pixie-ish and unhappily married to Seth Rogan.  Sarah Silverman has a controversial nude shower scene in this movie which is the “sizzle” that should make you go see it.  The scene’s not sexy, though…it’s “everyday nudity.”  Just cleanin’ parts.  Kind of like a parody of an indie-film.  2 Stars.

Beasts of the Southern Wild:  little girl in the bayou who tries to escape her miserable existence with her father.  Kind of “Where the Wild Things Are.”  Very odd.  It’s very authentic and very art house.  3.5 Stars.

The Invisible War: a documentary about rape in the U.S. military.  A very hot topic in the news lately, it’s become a rampant problem, especially in the Texas Air Force.  There’s a montage of interviews with women recounting their stories which will give you chills.  3.5 Stars.

Batman – the Dark Knight Rises:  Christian Bale brings his A-Game this time.  Anne Hathaway nailed her role as Catwoman.  She does a more “real-world” take on her character.  Jeff liked the movie but having seen it and realizing how much it takes itself seriously he’s not gonna go see it again any time soon.  It’s like seeing an Occupy Salt Lake march where people are in costume.  He left wanting an icepack for the back of his head.  Even more dour and humorless than the second film.  Too long (almost 3 hours).  Joseph Gordon Levitt is fantastic, too.  3 Stars.

Gina’s Sign Off:  Bring me a baby, right now!  I can nurse!