Young Folks
Kerry might have been the only person who didn't see Ironman this weekend.  Even Bill saw it.  Bill went with his teenage friends, Mattie-bear, Natty-bear, Richie, and Booster.  Afterward, he bought them all beer.  Usually Bill finds the superhero movies boring, but Ironman was very entertaining.  Bill though it was because the final battle wasn't ridiculously long.

Gifts
Kerry brought everyone a gift from New York City.  He brought Bill a new copy of his worn-out John Lennon t-shirt.  For Richie, Kerry was moved by the memory of the missing keys and brought Richie a New York Skyline keychain.  Gina's gift actually came from The Forbidden Planet comic-book store.  Just as he was checking out with his free comic books, he noticed a Dirty Dancing sound machine.  It spurts memorable lines from the movie like, "I carried a watermelon," or "You're invading my dance space."  Bill hoped that someday they would release a sound machine for Somewhere in Time.  It would have one button shaped like the peach-fuzz strewn face of Jane Seymour and scream, "RIIIIICHAAAARDDDDD!"

Do I Have To?
Gina and Richie went to the secret press conference for High School Musical 3.  Zac Effron is cute.  The secret location was East High School.  Zac Effron has good hair.  The cast pulled up in a white van.  Zac Effron smells like cookies.  The cast tried to lead the reports in a school cheer.  Zac Effron is really good looking.  Zac Effron.  Zac Effron.  Zac Effron.  Richie lost his keys.  There won't be any salmon.

Boners
1. "My Ears Are Still Ringing": After showing up late for a shift at an Ohio BBQ, Rochelle Crockett was locked in a storage cabinet whilst three other employees beat on the cabinet with hammers for more than 20 minutes.

2. "I Want Pink Triangles For The Gay Ones":  Claiming that she wanted to cut down on public displays of affection, Principal Daphne Beasley of a Memphis-area high school, created a list of all of the couples in the school, including a homosexual couple.  The principal contacted the mother of one of they gay students and told her that she did not like homosexuals. The mother was, at the time, unaware that her son was gay. The ACLU claims that the list is an invasion of privacy and put the two students at risk for discrimination.

3. "I Will Too Shoot Her":  Winning a $1 bet with her intoxicated boyfriend, a Sheboygan woman shot her eight-year-old daughter in the leg with a BB gun.  Her boyfriend bet that she wouldn't do it, and she promptly proved him wrong.

The BB shooting mother is Boner of the Day.

Bill Frost
Two and a Half Men and CSI: Original Flavor are switching writers.  That should be entertaining.  Children of the Grave has the pretend ghosts of supposedly dead children.  Wait.  Do you hear that?  I think it just got colder in here.  I have a funny feeling about this.  Listen.  Do you smell something?

Really?  Again?
Radio From Hell has decided to become a more successful morning show and sponsor one of the American Idol contestants so they picked Montana's own David Cook because of his raspy voice and prison-like appearance and Bill won't watch, but if someone reminds him, he'll vote for Montana's own David Cook and Gina will let Bill know who wins because she watches the show for Kerry and Bill so that they don't have to watch Montana's own David Cook and listen to the horrible way he butchers Neil Diamond or The Eagles or whatever he ends up singing week after week after week after week.

Neglected News
Hannah Montana has creepy pics with her dad.  Tom doesn't know.  I mean, it's hard for him.  Lassie and Puff Diddle now have something in common.

Gina's Sign-off
"Would you come baptize me for the dead?"