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Radio From Hell Blog - July 8th, 2009
Blog listing of the events from the X96 Radio From Hell Show
08 July 2009 @ 05:49 pm
Episode #5208
Days until contract expiration: 267
Day 6 of Gina's Morning Meander
Opening Song
"Dead Man's Party" - Oingo Boingo
Sign-offs
Boners
1. "I Need Me Some Extra Crispy": A man who broke into a KFC in Salt Lake City was unable to get out of the restaurant before passing out on the managers desk. The man broke in through an improperly closed door, but was too drunk to really do any damage. The man walked into the manager's office, pulled shelves off the wall, and poured cooking oil around before slumping over the manager's desk.
2. "They'll Never Look For My Drugs Here": Salt Lake Police pulled over a 41-year-old man who had been weaving down the road. When the man exited the vehicle, the officers noticed that the man was wearing an ankle monitoring bracelet. In addition, officers noticed a plastic bag full of cocaine tucked inside the bracelet. The man was promptly arrested.
3. "Hello? Who is This? Hello?": A 21-year-old woman was arrested after prank calling her grandmother more than 45 times in a single day. She told her grandmother that she was going to kill her and that she was watching her. The grandmother called the police who came over and answered some of the phone calls. When confronted, the granddaughter claimed that she only wanted to scare her grandmother, but didn't think that prank calls were illegal.
The prank calling granddaughter is Boner of the Day.
Reading is Believing
Gina managed to really piss off The Sainted Mary Claire with all of her fat talk yesterday. Gina posted about her plumpness on her Facebook page. Many of the commenters refuted Gina's claims with calls of "you're not fat." Gina retorted in her own comments by saying, essentially, "Yes I am. Here's how much I weight: XXX" She actually wrote her weight on her Facebook page. When The Sainted Mary Claire, whilst waiting in line at Disneyland, checked her iPhone, she was not pleased. She could not believe that Gina actually wrote down how much she weighed!
Set It and D.I. It!
F.O.P Ben gave Radio From Hell one of the Popeil-brand rotisserie ovens. Bill took it home and figured that he would try it out. He'd cook a couple of chickens figure out how it works, then bring it back in the studio to replace The Weinie Intern. Taking it out of the box, the first thing Bill noticed was a warning not to take, "Set it and Forget it!" literally. Bill dressed his chickens, slipped them onto the spit rods, and set it to cooking. During the cooking process, the chickens began to change shape, etc. and then began to touch the heating element. Apparently the manufactures foresaw this problem and included some heat resistant gloves to allow Bill to take the slippery chickens and reset them back on the spit rods. After the second time, however, Bill decided that the Popeil Showtime Rotisserie grill was bullsock. He finished his chickens on the grill and Mrs. Bill took the device to the Deseret Industries.
Unforgettable Quote
"If I tell you I love you, will you shave my back?" - Bill Allred
Things That Must Go
Intentional misspelling of words like 'skewl', 'u', 'yestaday', 'wif', 'ur', 'boyz.' Ranting about pop-culture. The use of 'gay' as an insult. Tonya the 'Twilight' fan. 'Ridonkulous.' The group of women attending an Indian restaurant in Provo, UT who, after their meal was completed, proceeded to take photographs in the lobby of the restaurant whilst standing on chairs and posing as multi-armed Hindu dieties. Commercials featuring the phrase, "but what's the catch?" 24-hour fitness not being open all of the time. The name 'Thane.' Neighborhood children in the street. People who expect you to watch their children because you're watching yours. Incessant sniffing. People who mail letters to "John Smith. Somewhere in California" or "Buffy Summers, Sunnydale, CA" or "Spencer Pratt, Doucheville, USA." Women who cry at work. Managers who give in to women who cry at work. Missionaries who refuse to stop coming to the door. Diesel trucks or loud motorcylces revving their engines at 5:30am. Long back-hairs. Girlfriends who leave you so that you can't shave your back-hair.
Days until contract expiration: 267
Day 6 of Gina's Morning Meander
Opening Song
"Dead Man's Party" - Oingo Boingo
Sign-offs
- People who say, "Clean as a whistle," forget that a whistle is full of spit.
- I'll bet you can never get the smell of Hardee's out of that car.
Boners
1. "I Need Me Some Extra Crispy": A man who broke into a KFC in Salt Lake City was unable to get out of the restaurant before passing out on the managers desk. The man broke in through an improperly closed door, but was too drunk to really do any damage. The man walked into the manager's office, pulled shelves off the wall, and poured cooking oil around before slumping over the manager's desk.
2. "They'll Never Look For My Drugs Here": Salt Lake Police pulled over a 41-year-old man who had been weaving down the road. When the man exited the vehicle, the officers noticed that the man was wearing an ankle monitoring bracelet. In addition, officers noticed a plastic bag full of cocaine tucked inside the bracelet. The man was promptly arrested.
3. "Hello? Who is This? Hello?": A 21-year-old woman was arrested after prank calling her grandmother more than 45 times in a single day. She told her grandmother that she was going to kill her and that she was watching her. The grandmother called the police who came over and answered some of the phone calls. When confronted, the granddaughter claimed that she only wanted to scare her grandmother, but didn't think that prank calls were illegal.
The prank calling granddaughter is Boner of the Day.
Reading is Believing
Gina managed to really piss off The Sainted Mary Claire with all of her fat talk yesterday. Gina posted about her plumpness on her Facebook page. Many of the commenters refuted Gina's claims with calls of "you're not fat." Gina retorted in her own comments by saying, essentially, "Yes I am. Here's how much I weight: XXX" She actually wrote her weight on her Facebook page. When The Sainted Mary Claire, whilst waiting in line at Disneyland, checked her iPhone, she was not pleased. She could not believe that Gina actually wrote down how much she weighed!
Set It and D.I. It!
F.O.P Ben gave Radio From Hell one of the Popeil-brand rotisserie ovens. Bill took it home and figured that he would try it out. He'd cook a couple of chickens figure out how it works, then bring it back in the studio to replace The Weinie Intern. Taking it out of the box, the first thing Bill noticed was a warning not to take, "Set it and Forget it!" literally. Bill dressed his chickens, slipped them onto the spit rods, and set it to cooking. During the cooking process, the chickens began to change shape, etc. and then began to touch the heating element. Apparently the manufactures foresaw this problem and included some heat resistant gloves to allow Bill to take the slippery chickens and reset them back on the spit rods. After the second time, however, Bill decided that the Popeil Showtime Rotisserie grill was bullsock. He finished his chickens on the grill and Mrs. Bill took the device to the Deseret Industries.
Unforgettable Quote
"If I tell you I love you, will you shave my back?" - Bill Allred
Things That Must Go
Intentional misspelling of words like 'skewl', 'u', 'yestaday', 'wif', 'ur', 'boyz.' Ranting about pop-culture. The use of 'gay' as an insult. Tonya the 'Twilight' fan. 'Ridonkulous.' The group of women attending an Indian restaurant in Provo, UT who, after their meal was completed, proceeded to take photographs in the lobby of the restaurant whilst standing on chairs and posing as multi-armed Hindu dieties. Commercials featuring the phrase, "but what's the catch?" 24-hour fitness not being open all of the time. The name 'Thane.' Neighborhood children in the street. People who expect you to watch their children because you're watching yours. Incessant sniffing. People who mail letters to "John Smith. Somewhere in California" or "Buffy Summers, Sunnydale, CA" or "Spencer Pratt, Doucheville, USA." Women who cry at work. Managers who give in to women who cry at work. Missionaries who refuse to stop coming to the door. Diesel trucks or loud motorcylces revving their engines at 5:30am. Long back-hairs. Girlfriends who leave you so that you can't shave your back-hair.