Episode #5206
Days until contract expiration: 269
Day 4 of Gina's Morning Meander
Opening Song
"Pressure Drop" - The Specials
Sign-offs
Don't Bother
Radio From Hell is back, but don't bother listening until.....say....Wednesday. By then, the show will have gelled into a coherent broadcast. Bill wasn't feeling particularly well rested. He didn't really have a vacation. He went in to have surgery on his eyes, which has made him look vaguely Asian. Bill spent the majority of his vacation alternating between placing ice on his eyes, and watching TV. Even the pain medications were no fun.
Camping Queen
On her vacation, Gina discovered that driving to Oregon takes a long time. On a map, it doesn't look that far, but it's really, really far. They had to stop and camp by The Snake River whilst on the way. During her stay near The Snake River, Gina learned two important things. First, that there are a thousand, million, billion mosquitoes near The Snake River. Second, that John Carter isa moron.
The good news, however, was that Gina learned to poop in her trailer. On the last day, as they were packing up to leave, Joe informed her that they would be dumping the tank before they began their trek back home. Knowing that her make would only reside in the trailer for 30 minutes or so, and the children were elsewhere, Gina gave the trailer toilet a try. Her biggest complaint? That she couldn't use her precious flushable wipes.
Oh, and Gina wasn't aware that "Ore-Ida" was a portmanteau of "Oregon" and "Idaho.
Bingo! Bingo The Clown-O!
Richie is taking his vacation in Chicago at Clown College. No, it's not a joke. It really is A clown college. They teaching people how to get in tough with their inner clown. It isn't the Bozo or Krusty type of clown, but rather how to clown around. When Richie returns, he'll be able to go on a grand tour of high school auditoriums. He'll appear right after the drama department's production of "Seussical: The Musical" with an improve about "bad touching." "You're the last two pedophiles on Earth and you're stuck in a bomb shelter! GO!"
Boners (brougth to you by braised leeks and lentils)
1. "Naked is Not Neglectful": A man lost his adopted kids after walking around in front of them whilst naked. The court did, however, clear the adoptive father of neglect.
2. "The Mayor Wants You": Former Washington, D.C. mayor and current councilman Marion Barry has been arrested and charged with stalking a woman he helped out financially. The woman flagged down an officer and complained that Mr. Barry was talkin her. Mr. Barry has denied all charges.
3. "Yeah. Sure. We'll Destroy Those DVDs": An elementary school teacher in California is under fire after she sent home a DVD full of "class memories" that also featured a six-second clip of the woman engaged in sex on a couch. The school district called each of the student's parents and asked them to destroy of the DVDs.
The porn-sending teacher is Boner of the Day.
Bill Frost
Bill Frost was recovering from his hysterectomy, and couldn't visit the studio today. Instead, he provided his reviews via e-mail. Warehouse 13 is a passable ripp-off of The X-Files. Trash Day on J-Street, however, is not something, HI!, you should watch. The TV series based on 10 Things I Hate About You is only for the tweens and or brain-damanged adults. The movie was, HI!, loosely based on The Taming of The Shrew. Ghosthunters International will continue to find nothing but bullsock in Europe. Big Brother. Eureka on sIfY. Eli Stone and Harper's Island are burning off episodes that nobody wants to watch. Entourage begins again.
Shocking
The Palin Shocker is just like the standard shocker except that you stare at it in bewilderment.
Neglected News
Jamima Amadon is starting new restaurant called Banana Boobs. They'll specialize in bananas foster. The Proposal has bare-chested smooching and wood chopping. Ice Age 3: The Legend of Ray Romano's Gold is pure crap. The only good lines come from Simon Pegg's character. Transformers: The Search for Curly's Gold proves that a no named extra is better looking and a better actress than Megan Fox. It is tedious, non-stop noise. The attempts at humor are painfully unfunny.
Gina's Sign-off
"John Carter is a moron."
Days until contract expiration: 269
Day 4 of Gina's Morning Meander
Opening Song
"Pressure Drop" - The Specials
Sign-offs
- Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two-thousand of something.
- Silence is golden. Duct-Tape is silver.
Don't Bother
Radio From Hell is back, but don't bother listening until.....say....Wednesday. By then, the show will have gelled into a coherent broadcast. Bill wasn't feeling particularly well rested. He didn't really have a vacation. He went in to have surgery on his eyes, which has made him look vaguely Asian. Bill spent the majority of his vacation alternating between placing ice on his eyes, and watching TV. Even the pain medications were no fun.
Camping Queen
On her vacation, Gina discovered that driving to Oregon takes a long time. On a map, it doesn't look that far, but it's really, really far. They had to stop and camp by The Snake River whilst on the way. During her stay near The Snake River, Gina learned two important things. First, that there are a thousand, million, billion mosquitoes near The Snake River. Second, that John Carter isa moron.
The good news, however, was that Gina learned to poop in her trailer. On the last day, as they were packing up to leave, Joe informed her that they would be dumping the tank before they began their trek back home. Knowing that her make would only reside in the trailer for 30 minutes or so, and the children were elsewhere, Gina gave the trailer toilet a try. Her biggest complaint? That she couldn't use her precious flushable wipes.
Oh, and Gina wasn't aware that "Ore-Ida" was a portmanteau of "Oregon" and "Idaho.
Bingo! Bingo The Clown-O!
Richie is taking his vacation in Chicago at Clown College. No, it's not a joke. It really is A clown college. They teaching people how to get in tough with their inner clown. It isn't the Bozo or Krusty type of clown, but rather how to clown around. When Richie returns, he'll be able to go on a grand tour of high school auditoriums. He'll appear right after the drama department's production of "Seussical: The Musical" with an improve about "bad touching." "You're the last two pedophiles on Earth and you're stuck in a bomb shelter! GO!"
Boners (brougth to you by braised leeks and lentils)
1. "Naked is Not Neglectful": A man lost his adopted kids after walking around in front of them whilst naked. The court did, however, clear the adoptive father of neglect.
2. "The Mayor Wants You": Former Washington, D.C. mayor and current councilman Marion Barry has been arrested and charged with stalking a woman he helped out financially. The woman flagged down an officer and complained that Mr. Barry was talkin her. Mr. Barry has denied all charges.
3. "Yeah. Sure. We'll Destroy Those DVDs": An elementary school teacher in California is under fire after she sent home a DVD full of "class memories" that also featured a six-second clip of the woman engaged in sex on a couch. The school district called each of the student's parents and asked them to destroy of the DVDs.
The porn-sending teacher is Boner of the Day.
Bill Frost
Bill Frost was recovering from his hysterectomy, and couldn't visit the studio today. Instead, he provided his reviews via e-mail. Warehouse 13 is a passable ripp-off of The X-Files. Trash Day on J-Street, however, is not something, HI!, you should watch. The TV series based on 10 Things I Hate About You is only for the tweens and or brain-damanged adults. The movie was, HI!, loosely based on The Taming of The Shrew. Ghosthunters International will continue to find nothing but bullsock in Europe. Big Brother. Eureka on sIfY. Eli Stone and Harper's Island are burning off episodes that nobody wants to watch. Entourage begins again.
Shocking
The Palin Shocker is just like the standard shocker except that you stare at it in bewilderment.
Neglected News
Jamima Amadon is starting new restaurant called Banana Boobs. They'll specialize in bananas foster. The Proposal has bare-chested smooching and wood chopping. Ice Age 3: The Legend of Ray Romano's Gold is pure crap. The only good lines come from Simon Pegg's character. Transformers: The Search for Curly's Gold proves that a no named extra is better looking and a better actress than Megan Fox. It is tedious, non-stop noise. The attempts at humor are painfully unfunny.
Gina's Sign-off
"John Carter is a moron."
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