Sign-off
“If you're ever mauled by bears, I hope they stay away from your face because I think you're cute.”

Opening Song
“Lotion” - Greenskeeper

Best of Radio From Hell
One of the duties of a Radio From Hell intern is to compile the “Best of...” radio shows for Saturday mornings. This involves listening to the show and picking out the “best” segments. This would be easy for most Friends of the Program, but Chin-Strap, Itty-Bitty, and Limey Intern are not fans of the show. Itty-Bitty used to hear it once in a while when she was unfortunate enough to wake up before 10:00am. They're not interning for the show because they're fans AND they want credit, they're just doing it for the credit. Asking these interns to pick out the “best” segments is like asking Kerry's dad, who hates The Office to pick out the best episode of The Office. Maybe the interns should go work for Hee-Haw!

Our Son Kyle
Kyle heard about David Beckham's video portrait and thought he'd make one of his own. Kyle is a really sound sleeper. He didn't even wake up when Kerry entered the room (in disguise) and beat Kyle severely with a baseball bat.

Boners
1. “How Are My Little Thieves, Drug Addicts, and Prostitutes?” A PTA in Jackson sent out a questionnaire to parents asking a serious of questions. The last question on the page raised the ire of a few parents. When asked if they wanted to participate in the PTA, they were given the choices, “Yes,” and, "No, I do not want to get involved. I want my children to be thieves, drug addicts and prostitutes."
(View Story)

2. “Come here You Big Huggy Bear”: After downing four beers in a nearby tavern, a Chinese man entered a zoo and became very interested in a panda bear. The man was so interested that he hopped the fence into the panda's enclosure and approached the sleeping animal. As he reached out to hug the bear, the startled creature turned and bit the man on the leg. The man then attempted to kick the bear, which resulted in another defensive bite. The man then gave as good as he was given and bit the panda on the back. The man was rescued and taken to a hospital for his wounds.
(View Story)

3. “There's Been A Death In the Family”: In order to avoid going to work, a man faked the death of his own stepson and submitted a fake obituary to the newspaper.
(View Story)

The drunken Chinese bear fighter is Boner of the Day.

It's Weird
Joe is back, so Gina has to consume “weird” foods. Last night Joe made a punjab chicken with couscous and a spinach sauce. Gina thinks its weird because she doesn't encounter those flavors in her normal diet of meat, bread, and trans-fat. Joe also served some kind of African relish that contained cinnamon. This really threw Gina for a loop. Cinnamon is only supposed to be found on cinnamon rolls or cinnamon toast

Functionally Dimwitted
Gina wanted to Tivo Matthew Perry's new show, Studio 60. She even managed to get a season pass programmed into the device. However, Joe and Gina were watching Monday Night Football at the same time. Most well-adjusted Tivo owners can watch one show and record another. This is a problem for Gina. She's only lived in her house for 7 months and hasn't managed to call anyone to resolve this problem. Not to worry, however, because Studio 60 is available to watch on-line. Of course, Gina's computer is in a box in the basement of The Historical House of Character, floating in a puddle of pooh-water.

Neglected News
Paul McCartney is dealing with his anguished divorce through is music. He's releasing a new album entitled, I Hope You Get Caught In A Minefield, with the first single, “I Can't Hear You Because I Hate You.” Robert Palmer died 3 years ago. Spunky Katie Couric is losing her viewers and will have to lie down on the news desk. Steve Irwin's widow, Terry, has filmed an interview with Barbara Walters. Apparently it's very touching.