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Radio From Hell Blog
Blog listing of the events from the X96 Radio From Hell Show
22 October 2010 @ 06:19 pm
09 July 2009 @ 09:08 am
...with proposal and wedding ring. Honeymoon required.
http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=218&ad=7
http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=218&ad=7
09 July 2009 @ 06:20 am
Boners (brought to you by fondu)
1. "Damn Stripper Ruins Everything": A North Dakota pastor who was having an affair with a stripper, went to the police after "Bunny" tried to extort money from him.
2. "You See Any Pants!? I Told You I Lost 'Em!": Police charged a man with DWI after he was found driving without any pants. No pants were found in his vehicle. Bernard Chiominto told police that he took off his pants and underwear because he found them to be uncomfortable.
3. "UNO? No, No, No.": A St. Geore woman was charged with kidnapping after she trapped three 11-year-old boys in a tent. The three boys were camping out on the lawn of their apartment building and playing UNO. The woman interrupted the game and told the boys that their parents had told her to watch the boys. The woman took away the UNO game and made the boys play "A Moment of Truth"; an adult card game with sexual questions. When the boys attempted to leave, the woman laid down in front of the tent to block the boys' exit.
The UNO crazy woman is Boner of the Day.
1. "Damn Stripper Ruins Everything": A North Dakota pastor who was having an affair with a stripper, went to the police after "Bunny" tried to extort money from him.
2. "You See Any Pants!? I Told You I Lost 'Em!": Police charged a man with DWI after he was found driving without any pants. No pants were found in his vehicle. Bernard Chiominto told police that he took off his pants and underwear because he found them to be uncomfortable.
3. "UNO? No, No, No.": A St. Geore woman was charged with kidnapping after she trapped three 11-year-old boys in a tent. The three boys were camping out on the lawn of their apartment building and playing UNO. The woman interrupted the game and told the boys that their parents had told her to watch the boys. The woman took away the UNO game and made the boys play "A Moment of Truth"; an adult card game with sexual questions. When the boys attempted to leave, the woman laid down in front of the tent to block the boys' exit.
The UNO crazy woman is Boner of the Day.
08 July 2009 @ 05:49 pm
Episode #5208
Days until contract expiration: 267
Day 6 of Gina's Morning Meander
Opening Song
"Dead Man's Party" - Oingo Boingo
Sign-offs
Boners
1. "I Need Me Some Extra Crispy": A man who broke into a KFC in Salt Lake City was unable to get out of the restaurant before passing out on the managers desk. The man broke in through an improperly closed door, but was too drunk to really do any damage. The man walked into the manager's office, pulled shelves off the wall, and poured cooking oil around before slumping over the manager's desk.
2. "They'll Never Look For My Drugs Here": Salt Lake Police pulled over a 41-year-old man who had been weaving down the road. When the man exited the vehicle, the officers noticed that the man was wearing an ankle monitoring bracelet. In addition, officers noticed a plastic bag full of cocaine tucked inside the bracelet. The man was promptly arrested.
3. "Hello? Who is This? Hello?": A 21-year-old woman was arrested after prank calling her grandmother more than 45 times in a single day. She told her grandmother that she was going to kill her and that she was watching her. The grandmother called the police who came over and answered some of the phone calls. When confronted, the granddaughter claimed that she only wanted to scare her grandmother, but didn't think that prank calls were illegal.
The prank calling granddaughter is Boner of the Day.
Reading is Believing
Gina managed to really piss off The Sainted Mary Claire with all of her fat talk yesterday. Gina posted about her plumpness on her Facebook page. Many of the commenters refuted Gina's claims with calls of "you're not fat." Gina retorted in her own comments by saying, essentially, "Yes I am. Here's how much I weight: XXX" She actually wrote her weight on her Facebook page. When The Sainted Mary Claire, whilst waiting in line at Disneyland, checked her iPhone, she was not pleased. She could not believe that Gina actually wrote down how much she weighed!
Set It and D.I. It!
F.O.P Ben gave Radio From Hell one of the Popeil-brand rotisserie ovens. Bill took it home and figured that he would try it out. He'd cook a couple of chickens figure out how it works, then bring it back in the studio to replace The Weinie Intern. Taking it out of the box, the first thing Bill noticed was a warning not to take, "Set it and Forget it!" literally. Bill dressed his chickens, slipped them onto the spit rods, and set it to cooking. During the cooking process, the chickens began to change shape, etc. and then began to touch the heating element. Apparently the manufactures foresaw this problem and included some heat resistant gloves to allow Bill to take the slippery chickens and reset them back on the spit rods. After the second time, however, Bill decided that the Popeil Showtime Rotisserie grill was bullsock. He finished his chickens on the grill and Mrs. Bill took the device to the Deseret Industries.
Unforgettable Quote
"If I tell you I love you, will you shave my back?" - Bill Allred
Things That Must Go
Intentional misspelling of words like 'skewl', 'u', 'yestaday', 'wif', 'ur', 'boyz.' Ranting about pop-culture. The use of 'gay' as an insult. Tonya the 'Twilight' fan. 'Ridonkulous.' The group of women attending an Indian restaurant in Provo, UT who, after their meal was completed, proceeded to take photographs in the lobby of the restaurant whilst standing on chairs and posing as multi-armed Hindu dieties. Commercials featuring the phrase, "but what's the catch?" 24-hour fitness not being open all of the time. The name 'Thane.' Neighborhood children in the street. People who expect you to watch their children because you're watching yours. Incessant sniffing. People who mail letters to "John Smith. Somewhere in California" or "Buffy Summers, Sunnydale, CA" or "Spencer Pratt, Doucheville, USA." Women who cry at work. Managers who give in to women who cry at work. Missionaries who refuse to stop coming to the door. Diesel trucks or loud motorcylces revving their engines at 5:30am. Long back-hairs. Girlfriends who leave you so that you can't shave your back-hair.
Days until contract expiration: 267
Day 6 of Gina's Morning Meander
Opening Song
"Dead Man's Party" - Oingo Boingo
Sign-offs
- People who say, "Clean as a whistle," forget that a whistle is full of spit.
- I'll bet you can never get the smell of Hardee's out of that car.
Boners
1. "I Need Me Some Extra Crispy": A man who broke into a KFC in Salt Lake City was unable to get out of the restaurant before passing out on the managers desk. The man broke in through an improperly closed door, but was too drunk to really do any damage. The man walked into the manager's office, pulled shelves off the wall, and poured cooking oil around before slumping over the manager's desk.
2. "They'll Never Look For My Drugs Here": Salt Lake Police pulled over a 41-year-old man who had been weaving down the road. When the man exited the vehicle, the officers noticed that the man was wearing an ankle monitoring bracelet. In addition, officers noticed a plastic bag full of cocaine tucked inside the bracelet. The man was promptly arrested.
3. "Hello? Who is This? Hello?": A 21-year-old woman was arrested after prank calling her grandmother more than 45 times in a single day. She told her grandmother that she was going to kill her and that she was watching her. The grandmother called the police who came over and answered some of the phone calls. When confronted, the granddaughter claimed that she only wanted to scare her grandmother, but didn't think that prank calls were illegal.
The prank calling granddaughter is Boner of the Day.
Reading is Believing
Gina managed to really piss off The Sainted Mary Claire with all of her fat talk yesterday. Gina posted about her plumpness on her Facebook page. Many of the commenters refuted Gina's claims with calls of "you're not fat." Gina retorted in her own comments by saying, essentially, "Yes I am. Here's how much I weight: XXX" She actually wrote her weight on her Facebook page. When The Sainted Mary Claire, whilst waiting in line at Disneyland, checked her iPhone, she was not pleased. She could not believe that Gina actually wrote down how much she weighed!
Set It and D.I. It!
F.O.P Ben gave Radio From Hell one of the Popeil-brand rotisserie ovens. Bill took it home and figured that he would try it out. He'd cook a couple of chickens figure out how it works, then bring it back in the studio to replace The Weinie Intern. Taking it out of the box, the first thing Bill noticed was a warning not to take, "Set it and Forget it!" literally. Bill dressed his chickens, slipped them onto the spit rods, and set it to cooking. During the cooking process, the chickens began to change shape, etc. and then began to touch the heating element. Apparently the manufactures foresaw this problem and included some heat resistant gloves to allow Bill to take the slippery chickens and reset them back on the spit rods. After the second time, however, Bill decided that the Popeil Showtime Rotisserie grill was bullsock. He finished his chickens on the grill and Mrs. Bill took the device to the Deseret Industries.
Unforgettable Quote
"If I tell you I love you, will you shave my back?" - Bill Allred
Things That Must Go
Intentional misspelling of words like 'skewl', 'u', 'yestaday', 'wif', 'ur', 'boyz.' Ranting about pop-culture. The use of 'gay' as an insult. Tonya the 'Twilight' fan. 'Ridonkulous.' The group of women attending an Indian restaurant in Provo, UT who, after their meal was completed, proceeded to take photographs in the lobby of the restaurant whilst standing on chairs and posing as multi-armed Hindu dieties. Commercials featuring the phrase, "but what's the catch?" 24-hour fitness not being open all of the time. The name 'Thane.' Neighborhood children in the street. People who expect you to watch their children because you're watching yours. Incessant sniffing. People who mail letters to "John Smith. Somewhere in California" or "Buffy Summers, Sunnydale, CA" or "Spencer Pratt, Doucheville, USA." Women who cry at work. Managers who give in to women who cry at work. Missionaries who refuse to stop coming to the door. Diesel trucks or loud motorcylces revving their engines at 5:30am. Long back-hairs. Girlfriends who leave you so that you can't shave your back-hair.
07 July 2009 @ 10:07 pm
Episode #5207
Days until contract expiration: 268
Day 5 of Gina's Morning Meander
Opening Song
"I Want to be a Polygamist" - The Utah County Swillers
Sign-offs
Boners (brought to you by Chinese food)
1. "Little Nip in the Kiddie Pool": At a Maplewood, NJ public pool, a lifeguard scolded a young mother over a loud speaker after she was breast feeding her baby whilst sitting in a wading pool.
2. "It Was Sweet Home Alabama....AGAIN!": One officer has been arrested and two others have resigned after they shot the proprietor of a waffle house with a stun gun. The three claimed to be joking around when the victim played a song on the juke-box that they didn't like.
3. "You Can't Catch Me Cripple!": A man asking for gas money from a man in a wheelchair took the two dollars the man offered, then snatched his wallet, removed the contents, and ran off.
The wallet thief is Boner of the Day.
Take Me Out To The Ball Game
Yesterday, Richie was injured at clown college. They were trying to invent different ways to carry a person across the floor. Richie threw his passenger up over his shoulder like a sack o' potatoes and strained the middle of his back. To make himself feel better, he went to see a Cubs game and listened to Eric Estrada butcher "Take Me Out to the Ball Game."
Gina is Fat
Gina was watching an episode of Orpha Winkey in which she discussed her fluctuating weight. Ms. Winkey then asked herself, "Why?" Bill suggested it was because she couldn't decide weather to marry Steadman or gayle. Ms. Winkey, on the other hand, believes that people are fat because they are "hungry for something." Love, money, power. Something. Orpha? She's hungry for balance. Gina believes all of that is bullsock. Gina is hungry for French Fries. She's "addicted" to them. She eats them almost every day. People are hungry because they eat too much. Bill disagrees. Though that's a perfectly good reason to be fat, some people do eat because the are depressed, or genetically disposed to overeat, or genetically disposed to gain weight. Gina' ain't buying it. They are lying to themselves. Gina is America and Gina is fat because she loves French Fries, hates healthy foods, and feels like crap when she goes to the gym.
Gina's Sign-off
"I love French Fries, Jack."
Days until contract expiration: 268
Day 5 of Gina's Morning Meander
Opening Song
"I Want to be a Polygamist" - The Utah County Swillers
Sign-offs
- "I can't brain today. I have the dumb."
- "Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it."
Boners (brought to you by Chinese food)
1. "Little Nip in the Kiddie Pool": At a Maplewood, NJ public pool, a lifeguard scolded a young mother over a loud speaker after she was breast feeding her baby whilst sitting in a wading pool.
2. "It Was Sweet Home Alabama....AGAIN!": One officer has been arrested and two others have resigned after they shot the proprietor of a waffle house with a stun gun. The three claimed to be joking around when the victim played a song on the juke-box that they didn't like.
3. "You Can't Catch Me Cripple!": A man asking for gas money from a man in a wheelchair took the two dollars the man offered, then snatched his wallet, removed the contents, and ran off.
The wallet thief is Boner of the Day.
Take Me Out To The Ball Game
Yesterday, Richie was injured at clown college. They were trying to invent different ways to carry a person across the floor. Richie threw his passenger up over his shoulder like a sack o' potatoes and strained the middle of his back. To make himself feel better, he went to see a Cubs game and listened to Eric Estrada butcher "Take Me Out to the Ball Game."
Gina is Fat
Gina was watching an episode of Orpha Winkey in which she discussed her fluctuating weight. Ms. Winkey then asked herself, "Why?" Bill suggested it was because she couldn't decide weather to marry Steadman or gayle. Ms. Winkey, on the other hand, believes that people are fat because they are "hungry for something." Love, money, power. Something. Orpha? She's hungry for balance. Gina believes all of that is bullsock. Gina is hungry for French Fries. She's "addicted" to them. She eats them almost every day. People are hungry because they eat too much. Bill disagrees. Though that's a perfectly good reason to be fat, some people do eat because the are depressed, or genetically disposed to overeat, or genetically disposed to gain weight. Gina' ain't buying it. They are lying to themselves. Gina is America and Gina is fat because she loves French Fries, hates healthy foods, and feels like crap when she goes to the gym.
Gina's Sign-off
"I love French Fries, Jack."
07 July 2009 @ 09:00 am
07 July 2009 @ 06:41 am
Well, because it’s officially summer and nothing says campy like Generation X: The Movie!
See Punk's full review @ http://punksmovies.livejournal.com
06 July 2009 @ 08:54 pm
Episode #5206
Days until contract expiration: 269
Day 4 of Gina's Morning Meander
Opening Song
"Pressure Drop" - The Specials
Sign-offs
Don't Bother
Radio From Hell is back, but don't bother listening until.....say....Wednesday. By then, the show will have gelled into a coherent broadcast. Bill wasn't feeling particularly well rested. He didn't really have a vacation. He went in to have surgery on his eyes, which has made him look vaguely Asian. Bill spent the majority of his vacation alternating between placing ice on his eyes, and watching TV. Even the pain medications were no fun.
Camping Queen
On her vacation, Gina discovered that driving to Oregon takes a long time. On a map, it doesn't look that far, but it's really, really far. They had to stop and camp by The Snake River whilst on the way. During her stay near The Snake River, Gina learned two important things. First, that there are a thousand, million, billion mosquitoes near The Snake River. Second, that John Carter isa moron.
The good news, however, was that Gina learned to poop in her trailer. On the last day, as they were packing up to leave, Joe informed her that they would be dumping the tank before they began their trek back home. Knowing that her make would only reside in the trailer for 30 minutes or so, and the children were elsewhere, Gina gave the trailer toilet a try. Her biggest complaint? That she couldn't use her precious flushable wipes.
Oh, and Gina wasn't aware that "Ore-Ida" was a portmanteau of "Oregon" and "Idaho.
Bingo! Bingo The Clown-O!
Richie is taking his vacation in Chicago at Clown College. No, it's not a joke. It really is A clown college. They teaching people how to get in tough with their inner clown. It isn't the Bozo or Krusty type of clown, but rather how to clown around. When Richie returns, he'll be able to go on a grand tour of high school auditoriums. He'll appear right after the drama department's production of "Seussical: The Musical" with an improve about "bad touching." "You're the last two pedophiles on Earth and you're stuck in a bomb shelter! GO!"
Boners (brougth to you by braised leeks and lentils)
1. "Naked is Not Neglectful": A man lost his adopted kids after walking around in front of them whilst naked. The court did, however, clear the adoptive father of neglect.
2. "The Mayor Wants You": Former Washington, D.C. mayor and current councilman Marion Barry has been arrested and charged with stalking a woman he helped out financially. The woman flagged down an officer and complained that Mr. Barry was talkin her. Mr. Barry has denied all charges.
3. "Yeah. Sure. We'll Destroy Those DVDs": An elementary school teacher in California is under fire after she sent home a DVD full of "class memories" that also featured a six-second clip of the woman engaged in sex on a couch. The school district called each of the student's parents and asked them to destroy of the DVDs.
The porn-sending teacher is Boner of the Day.
Bill Frost
Bill Frost was recovering from his hysterectomy, and couldn't visit the studio today. Instead, he provided his reviews via e-mail. Warehouse 13 is a passable ripp-off of The X-Files. Trash Day on J-Street, however, is not something, HI!, you should watch. The TV series based on 10 Things I Hate About You is only for the tweens and or brain-damanged adults. The movie was, HI!, loosely based on The Taming of The Shrew. Ghosthunters International will continue to find nothing but bullsock in Europe. Big Brother. Eureka on sIfY. Eli Stone and Harper's Island are burning off episodes that nobody wants to watch. Entourage begins again.
Shocking
The Palin Shocker is just like the standard shocker except that you stare at it in bewilderment.
Neglected News
Jamima Amadon is starting new restaurant called Banana Boobs. They'll specialize in bananas foster. The Proposal has bare-chested smooching and wood chopping. Ice Age 3: The Legend of Ray Romano's Gold is pure crap. The only good lines come from Simon Pegg's character. Transformers: The Search for Curly's Gold proves that a no named extra is better looking and a better actress than Megan Fox. It is tedious, non-stop noise. The attempts at humor are painfully unfunny.
Gina's Sign-off
"John Carter is a moron."
Days until contract expiration: 269
Day 4 of Gina's Morning Meander
Opening Song
"Pressure Drop" - The Specials
Sign-offs
- Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two-thousand of something.
- Silence is golden. Duct-Tape is silver.
Don't Bother
Radio From Hell is back, but don't bother listening until.....say....Wednesday. By then, the show will have gelled into a coherent broadcast. Bill wasn't feeling particularly well rested. He didn't really have a vacation. He went in to have surgery on his eyes, which has made him look vaguely Asian. Bill spent the majority of his vacation alternating between placing ice on his eyes, and watching TV. Even the pain medications were no fun.
Camping Queen
On her vacation, Gina discovered that driving to Oregon takes a long time. On a map, it doesn't look that far, but it's really, really far. They had to stop and camp by The Snake River whilst on the way. During her stay near The Snake River, Gina learned two important things. First, that there are a thousand, million, billion mosquitoes near The Snake River. Second, that John Carter isa moron.
The good news, however, was that Gina learned to poop in her trailer. On the last day, as they were packing up to leave, Joe informed her that they would be dumping the tank before they began their trek back home. Knowing that her make would only reside in the trailer for 30 minutes or so, and the children were elsewhere, Gina gave the trailer toilet a try. Her biggest complaint? That she couldn't use her precious flushable wipes.
Oh, and Gina wasn't aware that "Ore-Ida" was a portmanteau of "Oregon" and "Idaho.
Bingo! Bingo The Clown-O!
Richie is taking his vacation in Chicago at Clown College. No, it's not a joke. It really is A clown college. They teaching people how to get in tough with their inner clown. It isn't the Bozo or Krusty type of clown, but rather how to clown around. When Richie returns, he'll be able to go on a grand tour of high school auditoriums. He'll appear right after the drama department's production of "Seussical: The Musical" with an improve about "bad touching." "You're the last two pedophiles on Earth and you're stuck in a bomb shelter! GO!"
Boners (brougth to you by braised leeks and lentils)
1. "Naked is Not Neglectful": A man lost his adopted kids after walking around in front of them whilst naked. The court did, however, clear the adoptive father of neglect.
2. "The Mayor Wants You": Former Washington, D.C. mayor and current councilman Marion Barry has been arrested and charged with stalking a woman he helped out financially. The woman flagged down an officer and complained that Mr. Barry was talkin her. Mr. Barry has denied all charges.
3. "Yeah. Sure. We'll Destroy Those DVDs": An elementary school teacher in California is under fire after she sent home a DVD full of "class memories" that also featured a six-second clip of the woman engaged in sex on a couch. The school district called each of the student's parents and asked them to destroy of the DVDs.
The porn-sending teacher is Boner of the Day.
Bill Frost
Bill Frost was recovering from his hysterectomy, and couldn't visit the studio today. Instead, he provided his reviews via e-mail. Warehouse 13 is a passable ripp-off of The X-Files. Trash Day on J-Street, however, is not something, HI!, you should watch. The TV series based on 10 Things I Hate About You is only for the tweens and or brain-damanged adults. The movie was, HI!, loosely based on The Taming of The Shrew. Ghosthunters International will continue to find nothing but bullsock in Europe. Big Brother. Eureka on sIfY. Eli Stone and Harper's Island are burning off episodes that nobody wants to watch. Entourage begins again.
Shocking
The Palin Shocker is just like the standard shocker except that you stare at it in bewilderment.
Neglected News
Jamima Amadon is starting new restaurant called Banana Boobs. They'll specialize in bananas foster. The Proposal has bare-chested smooching and wood chopping. Ice Age 3: The Legend of Ray Romano's Gold is pure crap. The only good lines come from Simon Pegg's character. Transformers: The Search for Curly's Gold proves that a no named extra is better looking and a better actress than Megan Fox. It is tedious, non-stop noise. The attempts at humor are painfully unfunny.
Gina's Sign-off
"John Carter is a moron."
26 June 2009 @ 12:59 pm
Episode #5205
Days until contract expiration: 279
Day 3 of Gina's Morning Meander
Opening Song
"People Who Died" - The Jim Carroll Band
Sign-off
"Life's not full of miracles; merely accidents."
Boners (brought to you by food from the Chinese)
1. "My Baby is Hungry": Jerri Gray of South Carolina has been charged with child neglect after her son, Alexander Draper, reached the dangerous weight of 555 lbs. at only age 14. Alexander is now in custody of social services awaiting medical attention.
2. "Wake up! Wake UP!": A Kansas City woman stabbed her boyfriend in the shoulder in order to wake him from a sleep-walking episode. The man came home intoxicated and the couple went to sleep. She awoke to find her boyfriend urinating in the closet. When she tried to wake him via traditional methods, she ignored her and pushed her out of the way. The woman claimed that she then became frightened that he would hit her, so she stabbed him.
3. "I Can Drink Like a Fish": In order to regain custody of her children, an Arkansas mother prepared for a psychiatric evaluation by drinking 13 beers. When asked, the woman replied that she was not drunk as, "I can drink like a fish." She failed to recover custody of her children.
The neglectful mother of the hungry boy is Boner of the Day.
One of a Kind. An Original. They Will Be Missed.
Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson is made of legos. Michael Jackson made good music. Michael Jackson made bad music. Elvis made good music. Elvis ruined himself. Michael Jackson ruined himself. Michael Jackson committed suicide. Michael Jackson did not commit suicide. Farrah had hair. Farrah had nipples. Farrah was on Charlie's Angels for only one season. Sky who? Sky Saxon? He pushed too hard. Michael Jackson could have died after the 'Bad' album. Don't forget about Ed McMahon. Farrah had some very nice nipples. Michael Jackson sexually molested me. Michael Jackson had three children. What will happen to Michael Jackson's children? Ass cancer. Where were you when you heard that Michael Jackson had died?
Boner of the Week
Dave "The Best Utahn" Matson chose "You With the Gimpy Arm. You Work In The Back" as Boner of the Week.
Gina's Sign-off
"Get outta the way."
Radio From Hell is on vacation until July 6th.
Days until contract expiration: 279
Day 3 of Gina's Morning Meander
Opening Song
"People Who Died" - The Jim Carroll Band
Sign-off
"Life's not full of miracles; merely accidents."
Boners (brought to you by food from the Chinese)
1. "My Baby is Hungry": Jerri Gray of South Carolina has been charged with child neglect after her son, Alexander Draper, reached the dangerous weight of 555 lbs. at only age 14. Alexander is now in custody of social services awaiting medical attention.
2. "Wake up! Wake UP!": A Kansas City woman stabbed her boyfriend in the shoulder in order to wake him from a sleep-walking episode. The man came home intoxicated and the couple went to sleep. She awoke to find her boyfriend urinating in the closet. When she tried to wake him via traditional methods, she ignored her and pushed her out of the way. The woman claimed that she then became frightened that he would hit her, so she stabbed him.
3. "I Can Drink Like a Fish": In order to regain custody of her children, an Arkansas mother prepared for a psychiatric evaluation by drinking 13 beers. When asked, the woman replied that she was not drunk as, "I can drink like a fish." She failed to recover custody of her children.
The neglectful mother of the hungry boy is Boner of the Day.
One of a Kind. An Original. They Will Be Missed.
Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson is made of legos. Michael Jackson made good music. Michael Jackson made bad music. Elvis made good music. Elvis ruined himself. Michael Jackson ruined himself. Michael Jackson committed suicide. Michael Jackson did not commit suicide. Farrah had hair. Farrah had nipples. Farrah was on Charlie's Angels for only one season. Sky who? Sky Saxon? He pushed too hard. Michael Jackson could have died after the 'Bad' album. Don't forget about Ed McMahon. Farrah had some very nice nipples. Michael Jackson sexually molested me. Michael Jackson had three children. What will happen to Michael Jackson's children? Ass cancer. Where were you when you heard that Michael Jackson had died?
Boner of the Week
Dave "The Best Utahn" Matson chose "You With the Gimpy Arm. You Work In The Back" as Boner of the Week.
Gina's Sign-off
"Get outta the way."
Radio From Hell is on vacation until July 6th.
25 June 2009 @ 08:26 pm
Episode #5204
Days until contract expiration: 280
Opening Song
"Next to You" - The Police
Sign-off
"Life's tough. Get a helmet."
Boners
1. "Take a Little Nip": A woman in North Dakota has plead guilty to child neglect after breastfeeding her baby whilst intoxicated. Stacey Anvarinia was arrested after police arrived at a residence on an unrelated matter. When police informed her that breastfeeding while drunk was bad for her baby, Ms. Anvarinia refused to cooperate and continued feeding the baby.
2. "I Like the Birdies": Colorado police have seized more than 53 baby birds from the bedroom of a 15-year-old boy. The boy had apparently collected the baby birds from neighborhood nests and stored them in his room. Forty of the birds later died, but 13 are recovering at an animal control facility.
3. "I Need Them Fries to Go": A theif in British Colombia made off with hot French fries from a fast-food restaurant in a brazen robbery that involved a naked run past the drive-thru window. Police have no evidence nor any suspects.
The breast-feeding drunk is Boner of the Day.
Ask a Child Psychiatrist
Samuel Goldstein is the former front man for Fertile Dirt, a local University of Utah professor, and a neuropsychiatrist who specializes in children. Dr. Goldstein has authored 28 books including Raising Resilient Children and Raising Self-Disciplined Children. First lesson? Good mother's keep giving. Forcing picky eaters to eat things they don't like doesn't really help make them better eaters. Regular family meals, on the other hand, are very important. They help the family communicate better. Regardless of what genius biologst Jenny McCarthy says, autism is not caused by vaccines or innoculations. Alzheimer's, however, is caused by cooking in aluminum pans.
Jeff Vice
Remember when Star Wars was new and exciting? Then, along came The Phantom Menace and it took the polish off? Transformers 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold is like that. it's nearly as bad as The Phantom Menace. It's way too long, and much like sticking your head in a dryer full of rocks. It's got robot smashing, which is good. It also has a human story, which is brutally bad. 1.5 stars.
Summer Hours is a French drama with a bunch of folks arguing about a house. It's a great cast, but the story isn't that exciting. 2 stars.
My Sister's Keeper shows that Cameron Diaz can act, and even star in a movie without her stupid laugh. It's a quicky movie, with a quirky Joan Cusack playing a judge. 2.5 stars.
Away We Go is a "shambling, rambling road movie." Maya Rudolph is a great actress, and Jeff Daniels and Catherine O'Hara are fantastic as always. It's quirky, funny, and light. 3 stars.
Neglected News
Kevin Federline has become a clam. No word on when he started discussing religion with Tom Cruise. Lindsay doesn't have boobs; she has lies! Jon and Kate haven't had sex with Nate in over a year. Sonnett doesn't like Gina, but Richie and Kerry like Sonnett.
Gina's Sign-off
"Button haters!"
Days until contract expiration: 280
Opening Song
"Next to You" - The Police
Sign-off
"Life's tough. Get a helmet."
Boners
1. "Take a Little Nip": A woman in North Dakota has plead guilty to child neglect after breastfeeding her baby whilst intoxicated. Stacey Anvarinia was arrested after police arrived at a residence on an unrelated matter. When police informed her that breastfeeding while drunk was bad for her baby, Ms. Anvarinia refused to cooperate and continued feeding the baby.
2. "I Like the Birdies": Colorado police have seized more than 53 baby birds from the bedroom of a 15-year-old boy. The boy had apparently collected the baby birds from neighborhood nests and stored them in his room. Forty of the birds later died, but 13 are recovering at an animal control facility.
3. "I Need Them Fries to Go": A theif in British Colombia made off with hot French fries from a fast-food restaurant in a brazen robbery that involved a naked run past the drive-thru window. Police have no evidence nor any suspects.
The breast-feeding drunk is Boner of the Day.
Ask a Child Psychiatrist
Samuel Goldstein is the former front man for Fertile Dirt, a local University of Utah professor, and a neuropsychiatrist who specializes in children. Dr. Goldstein has authored 28 books including Raising Resilient Children and Raising Self-Disciplined Children. First lesson? Good mother's keep giving. Forcing picky eaters to eat things they don't like doesn't really help make them better eaters. Regular family meals, on the other hand, are very important. They help the family communicate better. Regardless of what genius biologst Jenny McCarthy says, autism is not caused by vaccines or innoculations. Alzheimer's, however, is caused by cooking in aluminum pans.
Jeff Vice
Remember when Star Wars was new and exciting? Then, along came The Phantom Menace and it took the polish off? Transformers 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold is like that. it's nearly as bad as The Phantom Menace. It's way too long, and much like sticking your head in a dryer full of rocks. It's got robot smashing, which is good. It also has a human story, which is brutally bad. 1.5 stars.
Summer Hours is a French drama with a bunch of folks arguing about a house. It's a great cast, but the story isn't that exciting. 2 stars.
My Sister's Keeper shows that Cameron Diaz can act, and even star in a movie without her stupid laugh. It's a quicky movie, with a quirky Joan Cusack playing a judge. 2.5 stars.
Away We Go is a "shambling, rambling road movie." Maya Rudolph is a great actress, and Jeff Daniels and Catherine O'Hara are fantastic as always. It's quirky, funny, and light. 3 stars.
Neglected News
Kevin Federline has become a clam. No word on when he started discussing religion with Tom Cruise. Lindsay doesn't have boobs; she has lies! Jon and Kate haven't had sex with Nate in over a year. Sonnett doesn't like Gina, but Richie and Kerry like Sonnett.
Gina's Sign-off
"Button haters!"
24 June 2009 @ 01:09 pm
Episode #5203
Days until contract expiration: 281
Opening Song
"Pressure Drop" - The Specials
Sign-offs
Richie and the interns went to a midnight showing of Transformers 2: The Search for Curly's Gold last night. It wasn't worth it. In fact, the consensus was that it wasn't even worth the $8. It might be worth a matinee, but just maybe. Megan Fox, however, is hot, and a robust runner. They could have easily removed at least an hour from the movie.
Unforgettable Quote
"A movie about old toys? When does 'Alien v. Hula Hoops' come out?" - Nancy Grace
Boners
1. "You With the Gimpy Arm. You Work In The Back": A British law student was forced by her employer, Abercombie & Fitch, to work in the stock room so that the student's prosthetic arm would not be visible to customers. The company claimed that Riam Dean's prosthetic limb broke the "look policy" at the store, requiring that Ms. Dean work out of sight until the bulkier winter uniforms took effect.
2. "It Was Some Clown That Robbed Us": Police of Peekskill, NY had little trouble identify a man suspected of burglary and grand larceny. The victim had awoken to find a man in her home, stealing camera and computer equipment. The victim's description of the burglar's bright, fire-engine red dyed hair, which was sent to nearby police departments. The hair immediately caught the attention of police officers as the suspect exited a bus near his home.
3. "You Don't Miss School For Nothin'": A Milwaukee father was arrested, and found to have a blood-alcohol level more than four times the legal limit, as he drove his daughter to school. Police grew suspicious of the driver after her rammed his car into a curb.
Abercrombie and Fitch and their "look policy" are Boners of the Day.
Gina's Morning Meander
Chicken-scratch Intern and Richie drove Gina up to the Trax station by the University of Utah. HI! They used snack cakes to try and encourage Gina to meander with more authority. HI! Gina was worried that there wasn't a side walk all the way down to the station. HI! But, she figured it out. HI! On the way, Gina took note of the sights. HI! There was a room for rent. HI! The $5 haircut place was now $6. HI! She stopped and smelled the roses for a moment, HI!, before asking Kerry and Bill if they wanted her to pick up a dulcimer. HI! They didn't need a dulcimer. HI! Overall, it only took Gina 25 minutes to walk an entire mile. BYE!
Things That Must Go
People who take a handful of candy from the basket at the front desk. Spilling water into your crotch while nobody is looking. Claiming to have read a book because you listened to the book-on-tape. Lazy people (Gina?) who don't put their carts back in the cart corral. People with dark hair who bleach it blonde. West Valley Cops who hassle drivers for going three-miles-per-hour over the speed limit. Jenny McCarthy is not helping and ought to by hung by the highest tree (in the F.O.Ps opinion). Do not speak in baby-talk to a 16-year-old autistic child. "How are you?" "It's not Friday." Spending $120 on a special-edition textbook, then being offered $1.50 when you return it. People who attempt to tour a construction site in sandals. People who complain about tall girls wearing heels. Women who are taller than their men. Women who complain about men being shorter than their women. The crazy old bats that cut in-line at the grocery store. Commercials about smoking. UGGs. U of U frat boys. Skunk hair. Gina's diet - which encourages other MILFs to eat junk food. People who only get 40mpg in their Prius. Overseas software programmers. Rush Limbaugh's rebroadcast from the cubicle down the row. Pot-luck lunches.
Gina's Sign-off
"I'm gonna learn to samba."
Days until contract expiration: 281
Opening Song
"Pressure Drop" - The Specials
Sign-offs
- "Don't be irreplaceable. If you aren't replaceable, you can't be promoted."
- "You don't have to apologize to me, but you're gonna have to answer to Jesus."
Richie and the interns went to a midnight showing of Transformers 2: The Search for Curly's Gold last night. It wasn't worth it. In fact, the consensus was that it wasn't even worth the $8. It might be worth a matinee, but just maybe. Megan Fox, however, is hot, and a robust runner. They could have easily removed at least an hour from the movie.
Unforgettable Quote
"A movie about old toys? When does 'Alien v. Hula Hoops' come out?" - Nancy Grace
Boners
1. "You With the Gimpy Arm. You Work In The Back": A British law student was forced by her employer, Abercombie & Fitch, to work in the stock room so that the student's prosthetic arm would not be visible to customers. The company claimed that Riam Dean's prosthetic limb broke the "look policy" at the store, requiring that Ms. Dean work out of sight until the bulkier winter uniforms took effect.
2. "It Was Some Clown That Robbed Us": Police of Peekskill, NY had little trouble identify a man suspected of burglary and grand larceny. The victim had awoken to find a man in her home, stealing camera and computer equipment. The victim's description of the burglar's bright, fire-engine red dyed hair, which was sent to nearby police departments. The hair immediately caught the attention of police officers as the suspect exited a bus near his home.
3. "You Don't Miss School For Nothin'": A Milwaukee father was arrested, and found to have a blood-alcohol level more than four times the legal limit, as he drove his daughter to school. Police grew suspicious of the driver after her rammed his car into a curb.
Abercrombie and Fitch and their "look policy" are Boners of the Day.
Gina's Morning Meander
Chicken-scratch Intern and Richie drove Gina up to the Trax station by the University of Utah. HI! They used snack cakes to try and encourage Gina to meander with more authority. HI! Gina was worried that there wasn't a side walk all the way down to the station. HI! But, she figured it out. HI! On the way, Gina took note of the sights. HI! There was a room for rent. HI! The $5 haircut place was now $6. HI! She stopped and smelled the roses for a moment, HI!, before asking Kerry and Bill if they wanted her to pick up a dulcimer. HI! They didn't need a dulcimer. HI! Overall, it only took Gina 25 minutes to walk an entire mile. BYE!
Things That Must Go
People who take a handful of candy from the basket at the front desk. Spilling water into your crotch while nobody is looking. Claiming to have read a book because you listened to the book-on-tape. Lazy people (Gina?) who don't put their carts back in the cart corral. People with dark hair who bleach it blonde. West Valley Cops who hassle drivers for going three-miles-per-hour over the speed limit. Jenny McCarthy is not helping and ought to by hung by the highest tree (in the F.O.Ps opinion). Do not speak in baby-talk to a 16-year-old autistic child. "How are you?" "It's not Friday." Spending $120 on a special-edition textbook, then being offered $1.50 when you return it. People who attempt to tour a construction site in sandals. People who complain about tall girls wearing heels. Women who are taller than their men. Women who complain about men being shorter than their women. The crazy old bats that cut in-line at the grocery store. Commercials about smoking. UGGs. U of U frat boys. Skunk hair. Gina's diet - which encourages other MILFs to eat junk food. People who only get 40mpg in their Prius. Overseas software programmers. Rush Limbaugh's rebroadcast from the cubicle down the row. Pot-luck lunches.
Gina's Sign-off
"I'm gonna learn to samba."
23 June 2009 @ 12:40 pm
Episode #5202
Days until contract expiration: 282
Opening Song
"Uncontrollable Urge" - Devo
Happy Facebook Day
On Sunday, Gina attempted to call Daddy Gary to wish him a Happy Father's Day. Daddy Gary and The Sainted Mary Claire were in Colorado Springs at the Ritz Carlton hotel. Mary Claire informed Gina that she didn't have to talk to Daddy Gary because he had already written on her Facebook wall. Gee. Thanks.
Gina has never stayed at a Ritz Carlton. Kerry did, at Gina's wedding in Maui. It's definitely a nice hotel. When Kerry called down for a copy of the TV Guide, they brought him four copies, since each had a different Star Trek collector's cover. When he tried to tell the attendant that he only needed one, the attendant insisted that he keep all four.
Boners (brought to you by a heapin' helpin' of Italian food)
1. "And in Other News, My Co-Anchor is a Dick": An anchor woman at a television station in Wisconsin had been receiving harassing e-mails for more than a year. When she finally searched the name of the person signing the derogatory e-mails, she found that the name belonged to a registered sex offender. Worred, she called police who subpoenaed the IP address of the e-mailer. It was not the sex offender in question, but rather the woman's co-anchor, Zach Brown. Ms. Dupont filed for a restraining order, but it may not be necessary as Mr. Brown's name has been scrubbed from the WXOW website.
2. "Well, How Else Ya Gonna Get A Bullet Out?" A man attempting to remove a jammed .22 rifle bullet with a screwdriver, accidentally shot himself in the shoulder.
3. "I Was Feeling Damp.": After a bout of heavy drinking, New Zealander Dave Chatelin went to change his clothes. Having removed all of his clothes, Mr. Chatelin was searching for a new pair of underpants in the clothes dryer, when his head, arms, and shoulders became lodged in the opening. Attempting to free himself, Mr. Chatelin pulled the dryer over on himself. He then called for help, brining his mates, who managed to get him upright again. Finally, the fire brigade was called, and were finally able to free him from the dryer.
The naked dryer-fighter is Boner of the Day.
Dog Days
Over their vacation next week, Sue and Kerry are going to tour the ruins in San Francisco. When they return, they are going to get another dog. A young dog to keep Artie energetic as he ages. Artie is named after the producer from The Larry Sanders Show. Keeping with the theme, Kerry wanted to name the new dog, 'Larry.' Sue vetoed that immediately. The problem? Kerry used to own two cats, 'The Amazing Larry' and 'Larry's Friend Owen.' Sue is fine with reusing pet names, but you can't name a dog after a cat. Richie suggested that perhaps he could name the new dog, "Hat's off to Larry" instead.
Why Is Mom Grunting?
Gina will spend her vacation in Oregon, camping near the beach. It's a big, week long camping trip. Kerry and Bill aren't sure Gina will make it; she can't go a week without pooping. Gina's not worried. She'll just wait until the family is all out at the beach, then make and excuse to go back to the trailer for her constitutional. That's not a good idea. What if one of the family decides to come back whilst she's busy? She needs to make sure that everyone knows what she's doing so they won't bother her. Use some kind of euphemism like, "I've got a project to work on," or, "I'm dropping the kids off at the pool. Otherwise, they'll come into the trailer and have to ask an aghast Joe, "Why is Mommy grunting in there?"
Unforgettable Quote
"I've got to drop Vern Troyer off at the pool." - Bill Allred
Days until contract expiration: 282
Opening Song
"Uncontrollable Urge" - Devo
Happy Facebook Day
On Sunday, Gina attempted to call Daddy Gary to wish him a Happy Father's Day. Daddy Gary and The Sainted Mary Claire were in Colorado Springs at the Ritz Carlton hotel. Mary Claire informed Gina that she didn't have to talk to Daddy Gary because he had already written on her Facebook wall. Gee. Thanks.
Gina has never stayed at a Ritz Carlton. Kerry did, at Gina's wedding in Maui. It's definitely a nice hotel. When Kerry called down for a copy of the TV Guide, they brought him four copies, since each had a different Star Trek collector's cover. When he tried to tell the attendant that he only needed one, the attendant insisted that he keep all four.
Boners (brought to you by a heapin' helpin' of Italian food)
1. "And in Other News, My Co-Anchor is a Dick": An anchor woman at a television station in Wisconsin had been receiving harassing e-mails for more than a year. When she finally searched the name of the person signing the derogatory e-mails, she found that the name belonged to a registered sex offender. Worred, she called police who subpoenaed the IP address of the e-mailer. It was not the sex offender in question, but rather the woman's co-anchor, Zach Brown. Ms. Dupont filed for a restraining order, but it may not be necessary as Mr. Brown's name has been scrubbed from the WXOW website.
2. "Well, How Else Ya Gonna Get A Bullet Out?" A man attempting to remove a jammed .22 rifle bullet with a screwdriver, accidentally shot himself in the shoulder.
3. "I Was Feeling Damp.": After a bout of heavy drinking, New Zealander Dave Chatelin went to change his clothes. Having removed all of his clothes, Mr. Chatelin was searching for a new pair of underpants in the clothes dryer, when his head, arms, and shoulders became lodged in the opening. Attempting to free himself, Mr. Chatelin pulled the dryer over on himself. He then called for help, brining his mates, who managed to get him upright again. Finally, the fire brigade was called, and were finally able to free him from the dryer.
The naked dryer-fighter is Boner of the Day.
Dog Days
Over their vacation next week, Sue and Kerry are going to tour the ruins in San Francisco. When they return, they are going to get another dog. A young dog to keep Artie energetic as he ages. Artie is named after the producer from The Larry Sanders Show. Keeping with the theme, Kerry wanted to name the new dog, 'Larry.' Sue vetoed that immediately. The problem? Kerry used to own two cats, 'The Amazing Larry' and 'Larry's Friend Owen.' Sue is fine with reusing pet names, but you can't name a dog after a cat. Richie suggested that perhaps he could name the new dog, "Hat's off to Larry" instead.
Why Is Mom Grunting?
Gina will spend her vacation in Oregon, camping near the beach. It's a big, week long camping trip. Kerry and Bill aren't sure Gina will make it; she can't go a week without pooping. Gina's not worried. She'll just wait until the family is all out at the beach, then make and excuse to go back to the trailer for her constitutional. That's not a good idea. What if one of the family decides to come back whilst she's busy? She needs to make sure that everyone knows what she's doing so they won't bother her. Use some kind of euphemism like, "I've got a project to work on," or, "I'm dropping the kids off at the pool. Otherwise, they'll come into the trailer and have to ask an aghast Joe, "Why is Mommy grunting in there?"
Unforgettable Quote
"I've got to drop Vern Troyer off at the pool." - Bill Allred
23 June 2009 @ 10:00 am
Do you contact your ex-significant-others via social networking sites like Facebook or MySpace? If so, how did it go?
Post your answers in the comments.
Post your answers in the comments.
23 June 2009 @ 06:19 am
Well, because nothing says summer like some good death in The Death of The Incredible Hulk!
'Full review, including the original trailer, at Punk's Movies.
23 June 2009 @ 06:16 am
http://www.readinghorizons.
Much like the previously mentioned http://www.freerice.com/ - 'Lemons for Literacy' will donate money to help teach people to read for every word you match with its correct definition. The more you get correct, the harder the definitions you are given will become. Strengthen your vocabulary while you help others learn to read.
Recommended by Erika Hansen
http://twitpic.com/photos/
A twitter feed of all the inmates getting booked at the Denton, TX police station.
Recommended by Chris Brooks
http://www.wimp.com/bunnysong
"Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!"
A catchy, catchy little tune with video footage of fuzzy, cute animals eating.
Recommended by Matt the Whip
http://www.paperrobots1999.
Make your own Optimus Prime paper robot!
http://www.giveupblog.com/
Recommended by Chris Thames
Who said it - Hitler or Ann Coulter? To keep it from being a slam-dunk, they have replaced Hitler's pro-Aryan and anti-Semetic references with terms more oft-used in modern political parlance.
Examples:
"Liberals have a preternatural gift for striking a position on the side of treason...Whenever the nation is under attack, from within or without, liberals side with the enemy."
"Taking these consequences into account, it is no accident that it is always primarily the liberal who tries and succeeds in planting such mortally dangerous modes of thought in our people."
"Liberals always get a lot of credit for suffering, while never actually being made to suffer."
"The foremost connoisseurs of this truth regarding the possibilities in the use of falsehood and slander have always been the liberals..."
Much like the previously mentioned http://www.freerice.com/ - 'Lemons for Literacy' will donate money to help teach people to read for every word you match with its correct definition. The more you get correct, the harder the definitions you are given will become. Strengthen your vocabulary while you help others learn to read.
Recommended by Erika Hansen
http://twitpic.com/photos/
A twitter feed of all the inmates getting booked at the Denton, TX police station.
Recommended by Chris Brooks
http://www.wimp.com/bunnysong
"Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!"
A catchy, catchy little tune with video footage of fuzzy, cute animals eating.
Recommended by Matt the Whip
http://www.paperrobots1999.
Make your own Optimus Prime paper robot!
http://www.giveupblog.com/
Recommended by Chris Thames
Who said it - Hitler or Ann Coulter? To keep it from being a slam-dunk, they have replaced Hitler's pro-Aryan and anti-Semetic references with terms more oft-used in modern political parlance.
Examples:
"Liberals have a preternatural gift for striking a position on the side of treason...Whenever the nation is under attack, from within or without, liberals side with the enemy."
"Taking these consequences into account, it is no accident that it is always primarily the liberal who tries and succeeds in planting such mortally dangerous modes of thought in our people."
"Liberals always get a lot of credit for suffering, while never actually being made to suffer."
"The foremost connoisseurs of this truth regarding the possibilities in the use of falsehood and slander have always been the liberals..."
22 June 2009 @ 01:06 pm
Episode #5201
Days until contract expiration: 283
Opening Song
"Know Your Enemy" - Green Day
Sign-off
"Isn't your pants zipper supposed to be in the front?"
Weekend Fun
The Radio From Hell hosts had a great time at Snowbird this past weekend. The Too Much Fun Club met in Kerry's room, and Kerry doesn't remember it. Great time. Bill had spaghetti. Gina let her kids jump on the bed. Gina discourages jumping on the bed at home, but at a hotel, it's fine. Bill used to allow his kids to jump on the bed until his daughter split her lip open on the edge of a nightstand in Cedar City. Yet another reason Bill has no love for Cedar City.
Boners (brought to you by fajitas)
1. "Thanks For Your Service To Your Country": After revelations that Veteran's Hospitals have been putting veterans at risk for HIV from improperly performed colon exams, another investigation revealed that a Philadelphia VA hospital was seriously botching prostate cancer treatments over a six-year-period.
2. "What's a Few Extra Stars": A Belgian teenager has told police that she asked a tattoo artist to draw three stars on her face. She then claims that she fell asleep and awoke with more than 56 stars over the side of her face. The tattoo artist counters the woman's claim saying that the teen asked for the tattoos, but recanted when her father saw them and reacted negatively. (UPDATE: The woman has since admitted that she was making up the story.)
3. "I Was Airin' it Out": A homeless man in Memphis, TN was arrested and charged with masturbating in a public park. According to court documents, the accused denies the allegations and claims that he was just giving his penis some air.
The masturbating homeless man is Boner of the Day.
Bill Frost
America's Got Talent begins again and proves that we do not, in fact, have any. Benjamin Bratt's goatee attacks a grandmother's boobs on The Cleaner. Life After People is awfully cheery. HBO debuts a new comedy, Hung, about a man with a big........problem......or solution.......or something.................His penis is huge. There. It's said. It's funny and Thomas Jane makes up for his lousy performance as The Punisher.
Unforgettable Quote
"I can't believe I just advocated boiling Larry King's head in a big pot." - Bill Allred
The Big Richie
Richie spent the weekend in New York seeing non-parody theater. He saw Next to Normal, West Side Story, The Upright Citizens Brigade: High School Talent Show, and In the Heights. He also met up with former intern, Pushy Brad, who works at a radio station in New York. Brad is hoping that Richie gets fired so that he could take over as The Radio From Hell producer. Richie also went to the Manhattan 1st Ward, at a $9, 2400 calorie brownie, and ate a vegetarian dinner with a mermaid.
Gina's Sign-off
"Eight breasts!? That's a great idea!"
Days until contract expiration: 283
Opening Song
"Know Your Enemy" - Green Day
Sign-off
"Isn't your pants zipper supposed to be in the front?"
Weekend Fun
The Radio From Hell hosts had a great time at Snowbird this past weekend. The Too Much Fun Club met in Kerry's room, and Kerry doesn't remember it. Great time. Bill had spaghetti. Gina let her kids jump on the bed. Gina discourages jumping on the bed at home, but at a hotel, it's fine. Bill used to allow his kids to jump on the bed until his daughter split her lip open on the edge of a nightstand in Cedar City. Yet another reason Bill has no love for Cedar City.
Boners (brought to you by fajitas)
1. "Thanks For Your Service To Your Country": After revelations that Veteran's Hospitals have been putting veterans at risk for HIV from improperly performed colon exams, another investigation revealed that a Philadelphia VA hospital was seriously botching prostate cancer treatments over a six-year-period.
2. "What's a Few Extra Stars": A Belgian teenager has told police that she asked a tattoo artist to draw three stars on her face. She then claims that she fell asleep and awoke with more than 56 stars over the side of her face. The tattoo artist counters the woman's claim saying that the teen asked for the tattoos, but recanted when her father saw them and reacted negatively. (UPDATE: The woman has since admitted that she was making up the story.)
3. "I Was Airin' it Out": A homeless man in Memphis, TN was arrested and charged with masturbating in a public park. According to court documents, the accused denies the allegations and claims that he was just giving his penis some air.
The masturbating homeless man is Boner of the Day.
Bill Frost
America's Got Talent begins again and proves that we do not, in fact, have any. Benjamin Bratt's goatee attacks a grandmother's boobs on The Cleaner. Life After People is awfully cheery. HBO debuts a new comedy, Hung, about a man with a big........problem......or solution.......or something.................His penis is huge. There. It's said. It's funny and Thomas Jane makes up for his lousy performance as The Punisher.
Unforgettable Quote
"I can't believe I just advocated boiling Larry King's head in a big pot." - Bill Allred
The Big Richie
Richie spent the weekend in New York seeing non-parody theater. He saw Next to Normal, West Side Story, The Upright Citizens Brigade: High School Talent Show, and In the Heights. He also met up with former intern, Pushy Brad, who works at a radio station in New York. Brad is hoping that Richie gets fired so that he could take over as The Radio From Hell producer. Richie also went to the Manhattan 1st Ward, at a $9, 2400 calorie brownie, and ate a vegetarian dinner with a mermaid.
Gina's Sign-off
"Eight breasts!? That's a great idea!"
19 June 2009 @ 01:02 pm
(This poll is submitted by Atropos and is not endorsed by Radio From Hell)
What is the strangest piece of Radio From Hell memorabilia you have ever possessed. Things like Radio From Hell cream-style Corn. Lunging Weasels t-shirts. What happened to it? Do you still have it?
Post your answers (and photos) in the comments.
What is the strangest piece of Radio From Hell memorabilia you have ever possessed. Things like Radio From Hell cream-style Corn. Lunging Weasels t-shirts. What happened to it? Do you still have it?
Post your answers (and photos) in the comments.
19 June 2009 @ 12:45 pm
Episode #5200
Days until contract expiration: 286
Opening Song
"Free Time" - The Aggrolites
Sign-offs
"Who are you kidding? Most eunuchs have more balls than you."
Dinner with La Barberi
Last night, at Snowbird, Richie T. was invited to dine with Gina Barberi. Richie assumed that this would be special time between he and Gina. Not so. When he arrived, Gina was sitting at a table by herself. She had already ordered chicken fingers and a quesadilla - for the children. Joe, Jonesie, and Li'l Mohamed arrived shortly thereafter. Unfortunately the two little millstones around Gina's neck really dampened any chance that Richie had to talk with Gina. She continuously had to get up and take the kids for a walk so they wouldn't get too restless at the table. Instead, Richie spent a lot of time talking with Joe and came to the conclusion that Joe is really smart. Kerry pointed out that he couldn't be that smart; he married Gina.
Boners
1. "My Bologna Has A First Name, It's 'Punch You In The Mouth.'" An Ohio man reported that a thief had stolen his bologna and cheese sandwich after punching the man in the mouth. The man was sitting on a bus station and dressing his sandwich with mayonnaise. The thief walked up to him, punched him in the face, and walked off with the sandwich.
2. "I'm in a McHuggin' Hurry": A Denver police officer has been suspended after brandishing his service pistol at employees of a McDonald's when his order took too long to fill. When the order was eventually filled, the officer and his companion drove off with out paying.
3. "What Can I Tell You? The Baby Was Drivin'": Investigating a hit-and-run accident, police questioned the owner of the offending car who told them that his son usually drove the car, but was not home. The owner promised to have the son contact them when he returned home. Police also questioned a neighbor who told police that the owner of the car did have a son; and infant son.
The McCop is Boner of the Day.
Important Differences
Gina had to stop eating her Snowbird pancakes mid bite. She discovered, much to her horror, that they were banana pancakes. "Bleh." Mrs. Bill doesn't like bananas either, but there is an important difference between Gina and Mrs. Bill. First of all, Bill has sex with Mrs. Bill. Second, though Mrs. Bill doesn't like bananas, she still eats a wide variety of food, including fruits and vegetables.
Unforgettable Quote
"I can wait until we get to the bacon station." - Gina
Take Time
Gina can't say no. She never has any time to herself because she's always taking care of Li'l Mohamed, Jonesie, Festus, Joe, her sisters, and The Sainted Mary Claire. Mrs. Bill also takes care of a parcel of children, but still manages to take about a mile walk almost every night. Gina would LOVE to do that, but no way. There's way too much for Gina to do. Kerry suggested that perhaps, like everything else, the show should help Gina with her problem. Gina can get a Bluetooth headset and Richie will have an intern drive her a mile away - each morning, between 6:30am and 7:00. That way, Gina can enjoy a frequent morning's ambling.
Boner of the Week
Dave "The Flower Guy" Matson chose "No PDAs", the principal denying a diploma for a student that blew a kiss to his family, as Boner of the Week.
Gina's Sign-off
"I gotta get to my facial."
Days until contract expiration: 286
Opening Song
"Free Time" - The Aggrolites
Sign-offs
"Who are you kidding? Most eunuchs have more balls than you."
Dinner with La Barberi
Last night, at Snowbird, Richie T. was invited to dine with Gina Barberi. Richie assumed that this would be special time between he and Gina. Not so. When he arrived, Gina was sitting at a table by herself. She had already ordered chicken fingers and a quesadilla - for the children. Joe, Jonesie, and Li'l Mohamed arrived shortly thereafter. Unfortunately the two little millstones around Gina's neck really dampened any chance that Richie had to talk with Gina. She continuously had to get up and take the kids for a walk so they wouldn't get too restless at the table. Instead, Richie spent a lot of time talking with Joe and came to the conclusion that Joe is really smart. Kerry pointed out that he couldn't be that smart; he married Gina.
Boners
1. "My Bologna Has A First Name, It's 'Punch You In The Mouth.'" An Ohio man reported that a thief had stolen his bologna and cheese sandwich after punching the man in the mouth. The man was sitting on a bus station and dressing his sandwich with mayonnaise. The thief walked up to him, punched him in the face, and walked off with the sandwich.
2. "I'm in a McHuggin' Hurry": A Denver police officer has been suspended after brandishing his service pistol at employees of a McDonald's when his order took too long to fill. When the order was eventually filled, the officer and his companion drove off with out paying.
3. "What Can I Tell You? The Baby Was Drivin'": Investigating a hit-and-run accident, police questioned the owner of the offending car who told them that his son usually drove the car, but was not home. The owner promised to have the son contact them when he returned home. Police also questioned a neighbor who told police that the owner of the car did have a son; and infant son.
The McCop is Boner of the Day.
Important Differences
Gina had to stop eating her Snowbird pancakes mid bite. She discovered, much to her horror, that they were banana pancakes. "Bleh." Mrs. Bill doesn't like bananas either, but there is an important difference between Gina and Mrs. Bill. First of all, Bill has sex with Mrs. Bill. Second, though Mrs. Bill doesn't like bananas, she still eats a wide variety of food, including fruits and vegetables.
Unforgettable Quote
"I can wait until we get to the bacon station." - Gina
Take Time
Gina can't say no. She never has any time to herself because she's always taking care of Li'l Mohamed, Jonesie, Festus, Joe, her sisters, and The Sainted Mary Claire. Mrs. Bill also takes care of a parcel of children, but still manages to take about a mile walk almost every night. Gina would LOVE to do that, but no way. There's way too much for Gina to do. Kerry suggested that perhaps, like everything else, the show should help Gina with her problem. Gina can get a Bluetooth headset and Richie will have an intern drive her a mile away - each morning, between 6:30am and 7:00. That way, Gina can enjoy a frequent morning's ambling.
Boner of the Week
Dave "The Flower Guy" Matson chose "No PDAs", the principal denying a diploma for a student that blew a kiss to his family, as Boner of the Week.
Gina's Sign-off
"I gotta get to my facial."
19 June 2009 @ 07:29 am
What's your name and what was your embarrassing nickname as a kid?
Post your answers in the comments.
Post your answers in the comments.